Mommy Kept Her Son

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Thirty-nine at the kitchen table Your hand still sorting through my mail Dad's coat hanging by the doorway Like a question I refuse to name You say the house will fall without me You say the pills are nothing new I say I'm tired, I say I'm working Anything but what is true [Pre-Chorus] You kept the door, I kept the key We called it love, it looked like need [Chorus] Mommy kept her son, I lost my girl She held me close while she watched my world Three years she begged me, "Come back to life" I called her anger the reason she cried Now every room repeats her name But I still won't say why she walked away Mommy kept her son And I lost my girl [Verse 2] She saw a house beside the ocean In every better part of me A steady job, a clean beginning A man who showed up when he said he'd be She learned the sound of empty promises The little white lie beneath my tongue I wore my failure like a temper And made her pay for what I'd done [Pre-Chorus] She stopped the war, she dropped the phone Silence was the first thing I had earned alone [Chorus] Mommy kept her son, I lost my girl She held me close while she watched my world Three years she begged me, "Come back to life" I called her anger the reason she cried Now every room repeats her name But I still won't say why she walked away Mommy kept her son And I lost my girl [Bridge] I tell myself she chose to leave me Like choice was all she ever had I tell myself I'm almost ready Then take another from the drawer If I admit the door was open If I admit she wasn't cruel Then all the years I blamed her anger Come crawling back to me as proof [Final Chorus] Mommy kept her son, I lost my girl A small safe life in a shrinking world Three years she loved what I could be I loved the promise more than I loved her needs Now I miss her in the morning I miss her when the house goes still But I won't face the empty reason I won't become the man she willed Mommy kept her son And I lost my girl Mommy kept her son I let her go [Outro] Dad's coat still hangs by the doorway Her number sleeps beneath my thumb The house is full, the house is quiet And I am exactly what I've become