I’m trying (take Idk @this point)

Lyrics

VERSE 1 I’m awake but I’m somewhere else Watching my life from outside myself Every memory’s knocking at once And I don’t have the strength to answer one I know my name, I know this room I know the people I’m supposed to run to But my head’s got cracks in every wall And lately I can hear them all PRE-CHORUS Every vibration Every footstep Every shadow moving Every breath My mind keeps scanning Like something’s coming And I’m so tired Of expecting it CHORUS So leave the light low Let the whole world fade I’m not trying to leave I’m trying to find a place Where nothing is screaming And nothing needs me Where my memories loosen their teeth And my body finally believes That the war is over That I made it home I’m still here I’m just trying to come back to me VERSE 2 You ask me what’s wrong I don’t know what to say I’ve said it a hundred times In a hundred different ways The room is too loud Even when no one speaks The TV, the cars Every creak underneath me A plane passes somewhere miles away But my body hears a jet and starts to brace I know where I am I know I’m safe But try telling that To every nerve awake BRIDGE Numb is not the same as gone Maybe shutting down Is how I carry on Everybody sees me breathing So they think that means I’m fine They don’t hear the thousand little alarms Going off behind my eyes I’m trying God, I’m trying To stay soft when my body says fight To stay here when my mind wants to hide So don’t pull me out before I’m ready Don’t hand me another thing to carry Stay close enough that I know you’re there Just let me put the weight down somewhere BREAKDOWN No voices No footsteps No engines overhead No memories No pressure No living in my head Just one quiet room inside me Where nothing has happened yet Let me stay there for a minute Let me catch my breath FINAL CHORUS Leave the light low I’ll come back around I’m just trying to turn The whole damn volume down I don’t wanna vanish I don’t wanna run I just need my body To believe the danger’s done I wanna hear a plane And hear a plane, nothing more I wanna feel safe Without watching the door I’m still here Even lost in it I’m still here I’m tryin’ OUTRO Just turn the volume down I’m trying to find my peace Without disappearing To find it