My Stuck Ass

Country novelty with toe-tappin’ swing, acoustic guitar, claps, and a walking bass; verse one tells a funny adult-life story, pre-chorus tightens with spoken-style punch lines, chorus bursts into a chanty hook with stacked gang vocals and quick call-and-response. Add harmonica fills, little fiddle licks between lines, and a final chorus lift with handclaps and playful ad-libs. Bright, punchy mix with a barroom grin.

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Lyrics

[Verse 1] I turned forty-something, thought I had it made Then I met my ass in the shade My ass was "later," my ass was "wait" My ass was parked at the front gate It lived on snacks and "one more scroll" It talked real big, it stole my roll It said, "Start Monday, maybe June" Then June showed up and left too soon [Pre-Chorus] My ass meant fear My ass meant doubt My ass kept every good thing out Debt in the drawer Bills on the dash That’s what I mean when I say my ass [Chorus] My ass, my ass Keeps me stuck too long My ass, my ass Turns a small task wrong It’s not my body It’s what holds me back My ass means the thing That keeps me in the trap My ass, my ass Time to clear that path [Verse 2] It was the boss man job with the broken chair And the "good enough" life I was scared to share It was manual steps and a mess on the floor Ten tabs open, then ten tabs more It was "I’m too old" and "I’m not skilled" It was "after lunch" and then never will I had a fridge note, I had a plan I had a plan for the plan for the plan [Pre-Chorus] My ass meant excuses My ass meant stress My ass wore a frown with a cheap clean dress Overwhelm and fake okay That’s the little joke I laugh away [Chorus] My ass, my ass Keeps me stuck too long My ass, my ass Turns a small task wrong It’s not my body It’s what holds me back My ass means the thing That keeps me in the trap My ass, my ass Time to clear that path [Bridge] Last Tuesday I stood by the sink with pride Said, "Move it, buddy, get off that ride" I closed the apps, made one phone call Answered the email, canceled the stall Now when my ass starts pitching a fit I tell that fool, "I’m done with it" I’m not young, but I’m still in the race And my ass can’t run this place [Chorus] My ass, my ass Keeps me stuck too long My ass, my ass Turns a small task wrong It’s not my body It’s what holds me back My ass means the thing That keeps me in the trap My ass, my ass Time to clear that path [Outro] If you got one, you know what I mean That sticky old thing between the dream My ass, my ass I’m taking it back (taking it back)

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