Midnight Velvet Gambit

Lyrics

Verse 1 Ainsley rings Bunter at quarter past two, Voice sweet as sugar — “Hey babe, I need you.” Not love, not care, not “How have you been?” Just “Bring your wallet — and your tools again.” She drains him dry like a tick in the night, Smile like lipstick, heart like frostbite. Pre-Chorus Town knows her game — nobody’s blind, Except poor Billy, stuck two steps behind. Chorus (Savage) Ainsley — queen of the take-take-take, Leaves broken men in her rearview wake. Blue badge swinging, claims she’s worn and weak — But she runs like lightning when there’s deals to seek. She’s a refund pirate, a benefit shark, Billy’s building her camper while she’s tearing out hearts. Verse 2 She buys hedge trimmers every second week, Cuts her bushes clean then plays innocent and meek, Marches to returns like she owns the place, Staff see her coming — pure rage on their face. She talks so much shite you could grow crops in the sound, But she’ll charm every sucker within miles around. Pre-Chorus 2 She takes from Bunter like it’s owed by birth, He gets crumbs, she keeps the earth. Chorus (Harsher) Ainsley — con artist wrapped in a bow, Smiles like sunshine but her soul’s pure snow. Uses Billy like a tool on a broken shelf, She’s loyal to nobody — except herself. If karma had legs it’d sprint to her door, And Billy Bunter would finally keep score. Bridge (Sting) He’s bolting beds in her camper van, Thinking he’s needed — she’s just using the man. One call, he comes running — desperate, blind, Love’s not devotion — it’s the leash she designed. Final Chorus (Nuclear) Ainsley — hurricane of lies and greed, She’ll bleed you dry, watch your hope recede. Queen of the system, scammer supreme, Living off bullshit and half-baked dreams. And poor Billy Bunter, still down on one knee — Begging a thief for love she’ll never give free. Outro So here’s to Ainsley — cold, ruthless, slick, A masterclass in how to drain a man quick. And here’s to Billy — bless him, but damn — One day he’ll wake up and stop being her plan.