Porch Light Fades

Lyrics

[Intro] I kept the porch light on for a house I left behind [Verse 1] I got receipts in a shoebox, dates on the back Every promise you folded got creases like that Your blue sweater’s still hanging off the kitchen chair I move it every morning, then put it right there My brother says, “You’re better,” but he never asks when I learned how to smile with my teeth clenched in There’s a crack in the tile where I dropped your key Small enough to miss, big enough to keep [Pre-Chorus] I tell everybody I’m doing okay Then lose an hour to the same old phrase [Chorus] If I let you go, why are you here? Why does your name still sound so clear? I built these walls, they shake when you’re near I’m getting older, but I’m stuck in that year If I let you go, why do I wait? With both hands locked on an empty gate I swear I’m moving, I swear I’m changed But every road bends back to your name [Verse 2] I took the long way past the laundromat Where you stole my change and I laughed at that Now the dryers turn like a slow carousel And I hear your voice in the hum of the vents I deleted the thread, kept the screenshots too There’s a version of me still defending you He says, “Give it time, they’ll come around” But time just taught me how to make less sound [Pre-Chorus] I tell everybody I’m done with the past Then count every car that looks like your hatchback [Chorus] If I let you go, why are you here? Why does your name still sound so clear? I built these walls, they shake when you’re near I’m getting older, but I’m stuck in that year If I let you go, why do I wait? With both hands locked on an empty gate I swear I’m moving, I swear I’m changed But every road bends back to your name [Bridge] Maybe healing isn’t clean or loud Maybe it’s carrying less through this town I can miss you without making it fate I can close the door without calling it hate [Final Chorus] If I let you go, you can still be gone I can wake up here and keep moving on The walls still shake, but they don’t decide What I keep in my chest, what I leave outside If I let you go, I won’t erase Every crooked laugh or the look on your face I’ll take the good, let the silence stay And turn toward the life I postponed for your name [Outro] The porch light fades when the morning comes I leave the key where the deadbolt was