Ashley on the Tee

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Ashley owns the haulage yard, keys are in his hand He moves a mountain load of freight from town to town and land He backs that lorry clean and straight, makes every tight turn shine But put a golf club in his grip and watch the whole man decline [Pre-Chorus] He says, “I’ve got this, easy now,” then stares across the tee His knees begin a little dance like they’ve got somewhere to be [Chorus] Oh Ashley, steady your knees The fairway’s not a motorway, there’s no delivery breeze Oh Ashley, take one breath You’ve hauled a trailer through a storm, don’t let one tee box cause your death Choir: Take one breath! Ashley: I’m trying, Lord! Choir: Take one breath! Ashley: My legs are bored! [Verse 2] He lines the ball up carefully, retreats and checks it twice He gives the ground a mighty whack and calls the divot nice The ball goes wandering somewhere near a hedge beside the ninth Then Ashley files a formal complaint against the laws of flight [Pre-Chorus] He blames the grip, the grass, the breeze, the tee, the county line But deep inside he knows the truth: he’s thinking far too hard this time [Chorus] Oh Ashley, steady your knees The fairway’s not a motorway, there’s no delivery breeze Oh Ashley, take one breath You’ve hauled a trailer through a storm, don’t let one tee box cause your death Choir: Take one breath! Ashley: I’m trying, Lord! Choir: Take one breath! Ashley: My legs are bored! [Bridge] Choir: Who drives the lorry? Ashley: Ashley does! Choir: Who owns the company? Ashley: Ashley does! Choir: Who fears the tee shot? Ashley: Unfortunately, I do! Choir: Then swing that club and let it go! Ashley: But what if it goes left? Choir: It always goes left! Ashley: What if it goes right? Choir: It might go right! Choir: Either way, keep moving, brother, keep your head up high One little white ball cannot run your life! [Final Chorus] Oh Ashley, steady your knees You’re the king of every road, now claim the rolling greens Oh Ashley, take one breath If the ball goes in the bushes, call it landscape management Choir: Take one breath! Ashley: I’m trying, Lord! Choir: Take one breath! Ashley: My legs are bored! Choir: Take one breath! Ashley: I’ll swing once more! [Outro] Choir: Hallelujah, Ashley’s on the tee! Ashley: Lord, have mercy, let that ball be free! Choir: Hallelujah, Ashley’s on the tee! Ashley: And if it goes behind me, don’t put that on me!