Unlimited Shorts Quiggle

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Rich Quiggle clocks in early Shipping labels, box tape, glue By ten he's elbow-deep in chips And washing them down with Coke, too He says, "Boss, I'm feelin' funny" Clutchin' his gut, turnin' pale Then Friday comes around again And Rich takes off like it's mail [Pre-Chorus] His stomach's bubblin' up again You can hear it from the dock And everybody in the break room knows When Rich starts squirmin', he stops [Chorus] Unlimited Shorts Quiggle Friday's his getaway jiggle He quiggled in his shorts again And blamed it on the wind Unlimited Shorts Quiggle Every week the same old riddle He pooped all night, poor Rich Quiggle Then called off once again [Verse 2] He plays softball with high school boys Runs bases like he owns the place Hops on rollercoasters laughin' Then comes off with a haunted face At lunch he's got a sleeve of chips And a Coke sittin' by his knee Then he whispers, "If my phone rings now That'll have to be the feed" [Pre-Chorus] His stomach's bubblin' up again Like thunder in a can And when he heads for the restroom Folks just nod and understand [Chorus] Unlimited Shorts Quiggle Friday's his getaway jiggle He quiggled in his shorts again And blamed it on the wind Unlimited Shorts Quiggle Every week the same old riddle He pooped all night, poor Rich Quiggle Then called off once again [Bridge] He swears he'll change his ways Swears on a pack of gum But by Thursday afternoon He's already on the run From chips and Coke and bad decisions That loud old tummy drum [Chorus] Unlimited Shorts Quiggle Friday's his getaway jiggle He quiggled in his shorts again And blamed it on the wind Unlimited Shorts Quiggle Every week the same old riddle He pooped all night, poor Rich Quiggle Then called off once again [Outro] Yeah, Rich Quiggle Unlimited shorts Quiggle Friday rolls around And there he goes again