
CUCUMBER JAM (Crowd Cheering) Aw-wop! Whooooo! Come on now! Hit it, Sammy! ⸻ (Verse 1) Well, I met sweet Susie by the pickle stand, She had cucumber jelly in her little ol’ hand. She said, “Hey Reggie, won’t you come along?” I said, “Honey, that’s my favorite song!” Boom baam! Cucumber jam! Bi-ba-bala-balla-salad! Yes I am! ⸻ (Singer Talks) Somebody pass the pickles! Not YOU, Jimmy! Ha-ha-ha! ⸻ (Verse 2) She’s so juicy, Sweet little Susie, Shake that apron, Drive me goofy! Good golly, Miss Molly, Who’s been stealing all the parsley? Boom boom! Shake the room! Pickle moon In the afternoon! ⸻ (Piano Solo) ⸻ (Call And Response) Reggie: Who loves pickles? Crowd: WE DO! Reggie: Who loves Susie? Crowd: WE DO! Reggie: Who ate my sandwich? Crowd: JIMMY DID! Jimmy: I was hungry. Ha-ha-ha! ⸻ (Verse 3) Tutti frutti, Boogie booty, Everybody acting kinda fruity! Pickle Peter, Basil Bill, Dancing with Professor Dill! Honey-hummy! Shooby-shoo! Everybody knows What cucumbers do! ⸻ (Singer Forgets The Lyrics) Wait… Pickles… Parsley… Pasta… Banana… … Forget it! Hit that piano! ⸻ (Piano Solo) ⸻ (Verse 4) Pasta Peter, Sweet tomato, Some like coffee, Some potato! With basil! Without! Whatever makes you twist and shout! Flip-flap! Shimmy-sham! Everybody wants That cucumber jam! ⸻ (Singer Whispers) Don’t tell Professor Picklehead… … He still thinks… It’s classified… ⸻ (Build Up) Come on now! Clap your hands! Louder! LOUDER!! One more time! ⸻ (Saxophone Solo) ⸻ (Band Introduction) Swingin’ Sammy! Still showin’ off! Boom-Boom Benny! Easy on the roof! Franky! Keep that hat on! Jimmy! Where’ve you been?! Jimmy: Writing this song. Ha-ha-ha! ⸻ (Last Chorus) Boom baam! Cucumber jam! Bi-ba-bala-balla-salad! Yes I am! She’s so juicy! Sweet little Susie! Good golly! Miss Molly! Pickle Peter! Basil Bill! Everybody dancing With Professor Dill! With basil! Without! Whatever you want! Pasta Peter! Golly Molly! Everybody holler— HOLY GUACAMOLE!! ⸻ (False Ending) Thank you! Drive home— … … ⸻ (Singer Talks) Wait! Jimmy! Did you finish the last verse? Jimmy: No. The next one. ⸻ (Grand Finale) Boom baam! Cucumber jam! Shucky ducky! Quack quack! Lammy dammy! Dam dam dam! Twist it left! Twist it right! We’ll be boogiein’ All night! One! Two! Three! FOUR!! WHOOOOOOOOOO!!! (Standing Ovation)
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