Floris

Lyrics

[Intro – Wind howl, static radio voice] 🎙️ “This is a public service transmission… From Paisley tae Ayr, Borrheed tae the rigs… Storm Floris is no messin’. Hold on tae your soul — and your wheelie bin.” --- [Verse 1 – Rhythmic Scottish voice, laid on a pulsing synth line] Storm Floris burst through the Clyde gate, Northwest gales eighty miles-per-oor fate. In Paisley the sheds took flight at dawn, Ayr’s beach bins vanished, just gone. Borrheed got battered, slates takin’ flight, Fences breakdancing deep in the night. Even the birds put in their notice, Floris came wi' ancient focus. --- [Hook – Chant drop, with sirens & echo FX] Strap it down — bins, swings, gnomes, Floris flingin’ half the homes. 80 Miles per oor? Try 100 plus, Even Neptune staying under the watteer cause he canny be bothered way floris blowy chatter --- [Verse 2 – Rapid flow with trance arp rising] Wheelie bins racin’ like Formula 1, Trampolines blown aboot like a polly bags.. So get back in yer pub and stop puffin yer fags. Choppers Grounded at Dyce , So dont hing yer wahhshon oot or you will take aff and pay the price North Sea roarin’ like Thor in a rave, Offshore boys ain't ridin’ that wave. Amber warning? That’s just fluff, This storm came powered by ancient stuff. --- [Bridge – Breath FX and slowed-down synth pads] Secure yer ladders, yank yer lines, Forget yer hike up mountain spines. Give the Sea King pilot a night aff shift, Don’t make him haul you oot a drift. --- [Drop – Beat kicks back in, chant with energy] 🎧 Strap it down — zip the tent, Floris ain’t just wind — she’s heaven-sent. A warning blast from the Mother divine, To reset the grid, realign for another day of sunshine. --- [Verse 3 – Spoken with humour and bite] Even Edinburgh shut its gates, Royal Tattoo said, "Not today, mates." Seventy-five years, never been done, But Floris blew in with a galactic stun. Garden furniture found in Skye, That BBQ just learned to fly. So next time the breeze whispers low, Remember the day your shed did a show. --- [Outro – Storm calms, gentle voice with echo] Storm Floris, born from jet stream fire, Carved across clouds like a cosmic choir. Paisley, Ayr — you stood the test, While Floris raged, we did our best. --- 🌬️ Quick Recap: Name: Storm Floris Wind Direction: West to Northwest Peak Winds: 80–100 miles an oor Impacts: Grounded choppers in Aberdeen North Sea on red alert Events cancelled, roads closed Trampolines found in Norway