The Friend I Don't Deserve

Lyrics

[Intro] I kept a list of every door I slammed Every promise bent beneath my hands You stood there with the pieces in your palms Still calling me back when I was gone [Verse 1] I made a habit out of leaving first Turned every kindness into something worse You learned the language of my disappearing And answered every silence by staying near me I wore my damage like a loaded gun Made you pay for battles you had never won You saw the person underneath the rust When I could barely recognize myself [Pre-Chorus] If love is measured by the weight we bear You carried mine and never called it fair [Chorus] You are the friend I don’t deserve The steady hand when I lose my nerve I gave you reasons to let me go You gave me room to become someone I know If I spend my whole life making this right I’ll still be learning from the way you stayed that night You are the friend I don’t deserve And I swear I won’t make you regret the trust you gave me first [Verse 2] You knew the worst parts and you named them plain No pretty lies to soften all the blame You didn’t fix me, you just held the line Until I found the strength to call it mine I remember rain against your old front steps My hands were shaking, I could barely speak yet You said, “Come in, you don’t have to explain” And somehow that was enough to change me [Pre-Chorus] I thought forgiveness meant forgetting scars You showed me mercy could remember who we are [Chorus] You are the friend I don’t deserve The steady hand when I lose my nerve I gave you reasons to let me go You gave me room to become someone I know If I spend my whole life making this right I’ll still be learning from the way you stayed that night You are the friend I don’t deserve And I swear I won’t make you regret the trust you gave me first [Instrumental Break] [Breakdown] I was the weight around your neck The unfinished wreck, the same mistake You could have left me where I fell But you dragged me out of my own hell I won’t ask you to save me again I’ll meet you halfway, I’ll keep my word then No more disappearing when the truth gets loud No more hiding behind the person I was [Breakdown - Screamed] I KNOW WHAT YOU GAVE! I KNOW WHAT IT COST! I KNOW I WAS WRONG! I WON’T LET IT BE LOST! [Bridge] When the old fear starts knocking at my door I’ll remember what your patience was for Not to keep me broken, not to keep me small But to prove I could still stand after the fall [Guitar Solo] [Final Chorus] You are the friend I don’t deserve The steady hand when I lose my nerve I gave you reasons to let me go You gave me room to become someone I know If I spend my whole life making this right I’ll honor every second you refused goodbye You are the friend I don’t deserve Now I’ll be the kind of friend your faith in me confirms [Outro] I can’t repay the years you gave away But I can choose to show up every day You were there before I learned my worth Now I’ll spend my life proving what that meant first