Talking Dog Blues
Lyrics
[Verse 1] My golden retriever just sat on the rug Looked me straight in the eye with a shrug He cleared his throat, took a sip of his tea And said, "Listen, Dave, we need to talk, honestly" [Chorus] He’s a talking dog, with a sharp tongue too Critiquing my wardrobe and my morning stew He demands a steak and a high-end bed Whatever happened to 'woof' instead? [Verse 2] He reads the paper and complains about the tax He's got a better portfolio than my brother Max He lectured the mailman on postal reform While I’m just trying to keep my dinner warm [Chorus] He’s a talking dog, with a sharp tongue too Critiquing my wardrobe and my morning stew He demands a steak and a high-end bed Whatever happened to 'woof' instead? [Bridge] I tried to teach him 'stay' or 'fetch' or 'roll' He told me that was beneath his canine soul He wants a therapist, a life coach, and a car I’m just glad he hasn't learned to visit a bar [Outro] Yeah, he’s a talking dog Honestly, I miss the silence Just bark at the cat, buddy Please? Just one bark? "No chance, Dave." Oh boy.
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