CULT of the Lamb

Lyrics

**[Intro] [Gregorian Choir] [distant thunder]** *Baaaaaa…* *Baaaaaa…* *BAAAAAAAAAAAAA—* **[DEATH-METAL] [SCREAM]** **BEHOLD THE FLUFF!!!** **[Verse 1]** He wakes beneath the morning sun, A tiny lamb who harms no one, With button eyes and wool so white, He frolics through the fields of light. The rabbits wave! The chickens cheer! The woodland creatures gather near! He gives a smile, so sweet and mild— **THEN SACRIFICES KEVIN THE SQUIRREL!!!** **[Guitar] [BRRRT-DUN] [DUN-DUN]** Nobody knows! Nobody sees! He's chanting ancient prophecies! That precious face, that fluffy head— Why is his little altar **RED?!** **[Pre-Chorus]** *"Have you seen Kevin?"* **BAAAAAA.** *"What about Steve?"* **BAAAAAA.** *"Why are you wearing Steve's hat?"* ... **BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!** **[Chorus]** **HE'S THE LAMB!** The adorable bringer of doom! **HE'S THE LAMB!** There's suspicious chanting in his room! Tiny hooves! Fluffy cheeks! Summoning darkness twice a week! He'll cuddle you close! He'll call you his friend! **THEN YOUR NAME APPEARS ON THE CULT'S WEEKEND AGENDA AGAIN!** **BLEGH!!!** **[Verse 2]** The fox came over around half past eight, The lamb said, *"Friend, please stay for cake!"* The fox said, *"Wow! You baked this yourself?"* The lamb slowly reached toward the ceremonial shelf. **OH NO.** The candles ignite! The choir begins! Someone starts playing ominous violins! The fox looks around: *"This party seems weird."* The lamb puts on his tiny cult-leader beard. **"WELCOME, BROTHER."** *"Wait… what?"* **"THE OLD ONES REQUIRE A DONATION."** *"Money?"* **"NO."** **[ABSURDLY HEAVY] [BREAKDOWN]** **DUN!** **DUN!** **DUN-DUN-DUN!** **FLUFF FOR THE FLUFF GOD!** **WOOL FOR THE WOOL THRONE!** **BAA! BAA! BAA! BAA!** The ducks are running! The pigs have fled! The rooster barricaded himself in the shed! The cow screams: *"I KNEW THAT LITTLE GUY WAS WEIRD!"* **[Chorus]** **HE'S THE LAMB!** The cuddliest nightmare alive! **HE'S THE LAMB!** And somehow his cult has got Wi-Fi! He skips! He hops! He giggles with glee! While disposing of witnesses **ALPHABETICALLY!** A through G! H through P! *"Where's letter Q?"* **"WE DON'T TALK ABOUT Q."** **[Bridge] [suddenly gentle] [acoustic guitar]** Little lamb… So soft and small… Surely you couldn't hurt anyone at all… You look so peaceful. So innocent. So— *Why is there a pentagram underneath the picnic blanket?* ... **BAA.** *"And why does Gerald the Goat's phone keep ringing inside your backpack?"* ... **BAA?** **[DEMONIC SCREAM]** **STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!!!** **[Final Breakdown] [maximum ridiculousness]** **THE CULT OF FLUFF HAS RISEN!** **DUN-DUN!** THE BUNNIES HAVE BEEN CHOSEN! **DUN-DUN!** THE GOATS ARE TERRIFIED! **DUN-DUN!** THE CHICKENS WANT TO KNOW **WHY THEIR INSURANCE CLAIM WAS DENIED!** **BAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!** Tiny crown! Tiny blade! Questionable life choices have been made! He's cute! He's sweet! He's four feet tall! **AND SOMEHOW HE'S THE MOST TERRIFYING LITTLE FLOOFBALL OF THEM ALL!** **[Final Chorus]** **HE'S THE LAMB!** Give praise to his adorable face! **HE'S THE LAMB!** Something evil has entered this place! He'll smile! He'll wave! He'll ask if you're free! **NEXT THURSDAY NIGHT FOR A "TOTALLY NORMAL CEREMONY!"** So when a tiny lamb comes knocking And politely asks to come inside… Lock the door. Close the blinds. **AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD—** ### **DON'T ACCEPT THE CULT NEWSLETTER!!!** **[Final scream] [double-bass] [drums]** **BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!** *…subscribe.* **[Tiny lamb voice]** *"Please?"* **[FINAL GUITAR HIT]** **DUNNNNNNNNNNN.**