Weekend Dayshift Deputy

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Clock says 0600 but I'm 10-8 at 05:45, Radio cracks out the gate, what'll it be this time? Traffic hazard in the ditch or a watch order down the road, Or blessed silence, 'cause admin ain't here, we in stealth mode. [Chorus] I'm a Weekend Dayshift Deputy, Star on my chest, county on my sleeve, Durango hummin', gonna see what the day's gonna be, Ain't no donuts, that's cliche, you see. I'm just a Weekend Dayshift Deputy. [Verse 2] Gotta be a Durango, Charger, maybe a big ol' Ram truck, First call of the day is the gas station for a little luck. Breakfast burrito, energy drink and a water too, No coffee and donuts 'cause that joke got old back in '92. Find a quiet church lot, run traffic with my lights out dark, Everybody hits their brakes at 25, thinkin' they about to get a invite, Nah man, I'm just tryin' not to spill sauce on my vest, Catchin' up on life and eatin' this gas station breakfast. [Chorus] I'm a Weekend Dayshift Deputy, Star on my chest, county on my sleeve, Parked on a hill, lookin' mean while I'm tryin' to eat, Everybody slowin' down, I'm just tryin' to eat my breakfast. I'm just a Weekend Dayshift Deputy. [Verse 3] Alright, let's make our rounds, check them little towns nobody knows, Turn down that dirt road that even Google Maps won't show. Check the back roads, creek beds, and the county line, Just prayin' today ain't the day that cow's out one more time. [Verse 4] Well if dispatch leaves me alone I'll go to the populated side, Look for expired tags and suspicious reasons to ride. And right on cue, like she heard me talkin' trash, "Tones - be advised, goats out on country road 3350." It's always a cow, it's always a goat, never a big felony, At least that goat won't argue 'bout his sovereign citizenry. [Chorus] I'm a Weekend Dayshift Deputy, Star on my chest, county on my sleeve, Half cowboy, half babysitter for livestock runnin' free, Wranglin' Betsy back in the fence for free. I'm just a Weekend Dayshift Deputy. [Verse 5] Now it's gettin' close to 14:00, you can feel that shift change curse, Everybody wants the cops right when you're tryin' to reverse. So I'm dimmin' my screen, takin' back roads, tryna ghost on home, Just let me sneak in that back door and clock out on my own. Yeah it sounds bad, I know, like we just hide and ride around, Talkin' off-the-wall nonsense 'bout life and this whole town. But you call, we come. Don't care if you like us or hate that badge, We carry the stuff you don't want to, that's the side most folks don't have. We love this job, weird calls and all, we're still the few, Weekend Dayshift Deputy, yeah, I'll still show up for you. [Outro] 10-8 at 0545, 10-7 at 1400... if dispatch lets me. Cow’s still out.