Civilian Casualties

Lyrics

[Verse 1] There's a riot in the spaces Between my ribs and my regret, Every version of tomorrow Arguing it hasn't happened yet. I hold funerals for futures That were never even born, Wake up grieving for a person I was trying to become. Some days I carry galaxies, Some days I can't lift up my name, Some days the smallest thing can break me, Some days I walk through open flames. [Pre-Chorus] How do you make peace With a war that speaks your voice? How do you call it choosing When it never felt like choice? [Chorus] I'm tired of being both the wound and the blade, Tired of being witness and attack. One half begs me not to move, The other never lets me look back. Too much heart beneath one heartbeat, Too many ghosts beneath one skin. Every time I think I've found myself, The ground rearranges again. [Verse 2] I know the taste of almosts, The weight of almost there. Of reaching for the door handle And forgetting why I'm there. Of loving with my whole chest And losing words halfway through, Of needing to be understood While hiding every proof. Of watching everybody else Move like they know the dance, While I count every single step And still get left behind. [Pre-Chorus] Maybe the hardest prisons Are the ones without the bars. The ones that travel quietly Inside of who you are. [Chorus] I'm tired of being both the wound and the blade, Tired of being witness and attack. One half begs me not to move, The other never lets me look back. Too much heart beneath one heartbeat, Too many ghosts beneath one skin. Every time I think I've found myself, The ground rearranges again. [Bridge] There are days I could outrun lightning, Days I disappear in place. Days I feel too much for breathing, Days I feel too little to take space. And somehow both are living Inside the same set of bones, Taking turns convincing me That I was never meant for home. [Final Chorus] Still I'm here among the wreckage, Still collecting shattered stars. Still becoming someone new From everything we were. And maybe healing never looked like Winning every fight within. Maybe sometimes it just means Surviving long enough to begin.