Jitterbug Alley

Lyrics

[Intro] Well, gather round, folks, I’ve got a small confession— My best-laid plans have learned a new profession! [Verse 1] I bought a brand-new hat to look refined, Then left the hat shop wearing someone else’s kind. The mirror said, “That feather’s quite a sight,” The owner said, “It’s mine—and so’s your plight!” [Chorus] Oh, what a pickle, what a terrible jam, I’m trying to act dignified, but goodness, I am A two-left-footed duke with a runaway tie, Who bows to the waiter and winks at the pie! [Verse 2] I wrote a clever note to send to Sue, But spilled my coffee right across line two. It now says, “Dear Sue, you’re sweet as can—” The rest is brown, but she still said, “When?” [Chorus] Oh, what a pickle, what a terrible jam, I’m trying to act dignified, but goodness, I am A two-left-footed duke with a runaway tie, Who bows to the waiter and winks at the pie! [Bridge] If fortune dealt me lemons, I’d complain, Then lose the lemons somewhere on the train. But when you laugh, my troubles disappear— So kindly keep on laughing, dear! [Final Chorus] Oh, what a pickle, but I’m feeling grand, With one crooked collar and a cake in my hand. If life is a riddle, I’ll answer “Why?” Then bow to the waiter and wink at the pie! [Outro] Mind the hat, mind the tie, mind the pastry nearby— Good night, everybody, and don’t ask me why!