Too Old To Drink Like That

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Said “Just one more ” at 9 p.m Now I’m texting my ex Woke up wearing one shoe And a name tag that says “Jeff” My wallet took an Uber But it rode off alone There’s a traffic cone beside me Calling my mattress “home” [Chorus] I’m too old to drink like that (what was I thinking?) Two-day hangover Zero fun (head still ringing) Body’s sending emails Brain’s out of office Gone Yeah I’m too old to drink like that But I still say “One more Then I’m done” (one more, then I’m done) [Verse 2] Bought shots for the table Turned out it was a wall Tried to scan my hand Like a card at the mall Told the DJ my life story He just nodded on beat Now every time the chorus hits He yells my name on repeat (hey!) [Chorus] I’m too old to drink like that (what was I thinking?) Two-day hangover Zero fun (head still ringing) Liver starting protests Heart’s filing HR forms Yeah I’m too old to drink like that But I still say “One more Then I’m done” (I swear I’m done) [Bridge] Sunday morning promise “I’m changing my ways” Monday group chat says “Same bar Same time?” …I’m late I’m bringing water like a warrior Proud of my grown-up plan Then someone shouts “It’s happy hour” And there I go again (oh man) [Chorus] I’m too old to drink like that (what was I thinking?) Two-day hangover Zero fun (head still ringing) Knees writing complaints Back filing missing forms Yeah I’m too old to drink like that But I still say “One more Then I’m done” Yeah I still say “One more Then I’m done” (last one, I promise)