El psycho: initial evaluation

Lyrics

[INTRO] Attention, please— Twelve teams, zero wins, And eleven of y’all need an evaluation. El Psycho’s here. [HOOK] Psycho walked in, let the mind games start, New to the league, but I’m reading your charts. Clipboard out, everybody take a seat, Eleven referrals staring back at me. Psycho walked in, yeah, Psycho walked in, Draft night’s here, let the testing begin. Think you’re elite? That’s fine, we’ll see— I brought assessments for the whole damn league. [VERSE 1] Dark Side, Tom, acting possessed, First-round reach? Cognitive test. Mud Dogs barking, N. talking loud, Tier Three support when that roster flames out. No era penal—G., nice disguise, But denial’s still denial, I can see it in your eyes. A Squad Jonathan thinks he’s the one, Grandiose thinking—assessment begun. Nelsonic Spinners keep spinning those picks, Calling every bad reach “analytics.” Los Chewies, Noe, summon the Force, ‘Cause that draft board’s already off course. [HOOK] Psycho walked in, let the mind games start, New to the league, but I’m reading your charts. Clipboard out, everybody take a seat, Eleven referrals staring back at me. [VERSE 2] “Lemme See Your”—Kim, finish the name, Can’t assess shit with half the complaint. Austin Bowers rocking Raiders pride, Michael knows disappointment—he’s well qualified. Priscilla’s Per—got cut on my screen, Even ESPN said, “We’ve seen what we need.” Anthony named his whole team Anthony, Creativity score: below expectancy. Dadgrill89, Jorge cooking outside, While his draft-day decisions get charred alive. Then El Psycho—the rookie walks in, Eleven case studies, where do I begin? [BREAK] Bad pick? Intervention. Reach? Accommodation. Draft three kickers? Manifestation determination. [FINAL] Tier One trash talk, Tier Two smoke, Tier Three support when your whole team’s broke. Progress monitor every loss that I see, Reevaluate after you lose twice to me. Everybody’s undefeated—enjoy it tonight, That zero-zero record might be your last highlight. No diagnosis needed, conclusion is simple: The league’s fucked. El Psycho’s eligible.