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Britain’s got talent

High-energy ragtime trap / electro-swing trap, around 145 BPM with a half-time trap pocket. Bright, slightly detuned saloon piano playing fast syncopated ragtime riffs, punchy upright bass accents, finger snaps and handclaps, then huge clean 808s underneath. Tight trap kick, cracking snare, rapid hi-hat rolls and triplet fills contrasted against bouncy old-school piano. Add muted trumpet/trombone stabs, occasional record scratches, vocal chops and comedic stop-start breaks. Verses should have a cocky, playful male sung-rap delivery with lots of rhythmic space. Build everything around call-and-response gang vocals so a live crowd can yell back immediately. Drop the instrumental completely for crowd claps, then slam back in with piano runs + sliding 808s. Final section goes completely wild: faster ragtime piano, brass riffs, trap hats, stomps, choir/gang shouts and a fake ending before one last enormous 808/brass hit.

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Lyrics

[Intro — lonely ragtime piano, stomps building] Well now… Look who showed up. [Piano flourish] I got one little question— Y’ALL READY?! [Crowd: YEAH!] Nah, nah, nah… I SAID—Y’ALL READY?! [Crowd: YEAHHHH!] [Massive trap 808 drop, ragtime piano continues] Then somebody better MOVE! [Verse 1 — playful sung-rap] Walked in late with my hat tipped back, Old-school keys on a brand-new track, Left foot slide, right foot tap, Granddad’s piano with an 808 slap! I don’t need money, I don’t need much, Just give me that beat And TURN IT UP! [Fast ragtime piano response] Oh, that’s nasty. [Pre-Chorus — beat cuts, handclaps only] Everybody clap— ONE! TWO! Everybody stomp— BOOM! BOOM! If the people in the back ain’t moving yet— Turn that bass up. [Huge 808 drop] [Chorus — full band, brass and gang vocals] AIN’T WE HAVIN’ FUN?! [Gang vocals: HEY!] AIN’T WE HAVIN’ FUN?! [Gang vocals: HEY!] Piano going crazy, 808 weigh a ton! LEFT SIDE! [Crowd: HEY!] RIGHT SIDE! [Crowd: HEY!] EVERYBODY GET— DUMB! DUMB! DUMB! [Wild ragtime piano solo over trap beat] [Verse 2] Now wait just a minute, Who invited the brass? [Short trumpet and trombone blast] …Nobody? Well, let ’em pass! Trumpet getting loud, Trombone getting rude, Drummer back there Got an attitude! Bass man said— “How low?” I said— “LOW.” [808 bass slides extremely low] [Breakdown — everything cuts except ragtime piano] Now this next part’s complicated. When I say HEY, Y’all say HO! HEY! [Crowd: HO!] HEY! [Crowd: HO!] HEY! [Crowd: HO!] Good. Congratulations. You’re in the band. [Drums slowly return] Clap-clap— STOMP! Clap-clap— STOMP! [808 begins building underneath] Little bit louder— STOMP! I CAN’T HEAR YOU— STOMP! [Full band building] ONE! TWO! ONE-TWO-THREE— [Massive ragtime-trap drop] [Final Chorus — huge gang vocals, brass, ragtime piano and 808s] AIN’T WE HAVIN’ FUN?! [Gang vocals: HEY!] AIN’T WE HAVIN’ FUN?! [Gang vocals: HEY!] Whole room bouncing, And we ain’t nearly done! Piano! [Wild piano fill] Brass! [Brass blast] Bass! [Huge descending 808] OH LORD—THAT’S ENOUGH BASS! [Fake ending — tiny solo ragtime piano] Thank you very mu— [Sudden full-band return, enormous 808 hit] I SAID AIN’T WE HAVIN’ FUUUUUN?! [Crowd: YEAHHHHHH!] [Final piano glissando, brass blast and massive band hit]

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