
*intro calm guitar instrumental 10 seconds* Let me tell you a story, about a man, the bane of public works... I'm talking about the 5 toe gremlin... The armor all lovin turd... *Drums and bass start* I'm talkin about the concrete kissin Chew. *Instrumental 10 seconds* *Pre chorus* He's the bane of public works, King of stupidity. Some people call him the 5 toe bandit... others call him melon head *Chorus* But everyone knows him by the tube whackin, cream soda drinkin, head bobbin chew... the bane of public works... *Verse* His favorite activity is falling over, he married cream soda and had marshmallow babies. The only thing he's afraid of is a lawnmower blade. He's a danger to himself and everyone around him... *Instrumental 10 seconds* He can't do anything right, he can't even walk without stumblin and trippin all over himself, he's the definition of no IQ and dumber than a roadkill hamster. His brain is slower than a turtle. *Bridge* His name strikes fear into the hearts of those who hear it... He drives people to insanity in minutes... And he's absolutely no where close to being qualified for his job... Stupid fucking chew *Guitar solo* *Pre chorus* He's the bane of public works, King of stupidity. Some people call him the 5 toe bandit, others call him melon head *Chorus* But everyone knows him as the stupid rope trippin, computer tossin, instruction ignoring stupid ass chew... Maybe one day someone will get rid of him *Instrumental 20 seconds into fade*
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