Bells, Banjo, and Retirement Rhymes

Lyrics

A-B-C-D-E-F-G (Retired Teacher’s Anthem) (Beat drops) A-B-C-D-E-F-G, Thirty years of kids wore out poor me. Now I’m retired, sipping sweet tea, No more parent emails after three! Misty said, “Lord, where’s my bell?” Mel said, “Girl, this classroom’s hell.” Little Sally sneezed from wall to wall, Never hit a tissue once at all. A-B-C-D-E-F-G, Every kid got a question for me. Bobby Boy raised his hand all day, Asked why crayons don’t get paid. Johnny lost his homework again, Said his dog ate it back in grade ten. Mama called demanding an A, Even though he slept through half the day. Chorus Hey! No more pencils, no more grades, No more meetings that should’ve been emails anyway. No more buses, no more bells, No more hearing twenty-seven stories at once to tell. Now it’s porch swings, sunshine, and fun, Retirement life has finally begun. Misty and Mel got nothing to prove, Just country girls with a brand-new groove. Verse 2 Little Timmy couldn’t find his shoes, Asked Miss Mel what he ought to do. Misty said, “Boy, I don’t know,” “Maybe look where you left ’em though.” Parents said, “My angel don’t lie.” Teacher looked ’em straight in the eye. Your angel just launched a paper plane, Then blamed it on somebody named Shane. A-B-C-D-E-F-G, Thank the Lord they’re finally free. Thirty years and a thousand kids, Enough stories to fill ten refrigerators. Outro A-B-C-D-E-F-G, Retired teachers living fancy-free. From homeroom chaos to front porch peace, Misty and Mel finally got released. One thing they know after all these years, Kids are funny… and so are their parents, dear!