Still going

Lyrics

Tone: haunting, honest, reflective

I grew up afraid — my father gone, my mom holding the line.
She was strong, but I saw the cracks in her armor.
In the city where kids become men too fast,
I learned to pray… and to fight.
I carried blades and secrets.
I thought survival was strength.

I thought I was grown at twelve, chasing women like trophies,
Mistaking lust for love, and numbness for power.
By nineteen I wore a Navy uniform,
But I was still that scared kid — just dressed in medals.
Drinking became my prayer.
Money became my god.
But even drunk, even dirty,
I could feel Him tugging on my heart.

Chorus: Through the storms, through the shame,
When I was lost in my own name,
He never left me.
Even when I turned away,
Grace kept chasing every day —
He never left me.
And I’m still fighting.

Then love showed up —
Soft voice, strong faith,
A woman I didn’t deserve.
We built a life,
But I built walls.
A husband in body,
But broken in soul.
A bottle in my hand,
And pain in her eyes.
I called it control —
But it was fear in disguise

2023 — I should’ve died.
Beaten, robbed, bleeding,
With my own gun in another man’s hands.
But mercy said “Not yet.”
My jaw broke — my pride shattered.
My wife still opened the door.
God whispered, “I never closed mine.”

In rehab, silence screamed louder than the liquor ever did.
Ten days sober — I saw myself clear.
A man I couldn’t stand to be.
But when I called home…
She still said, “I love you.”
And He still said, “You’re mine.”

Chorus: I’m still fighting, but now I know
I don’t swing alone.
Every scar’s a sermon,
Every tear’s a hymn.
I fell a thousand times,
But grace caught me again.

Now I’m sober, saved, and still learning.
My wife — my crown.
My boys — my heartbeat.
I gamble less, but believe more.
I drink peace now.
And I know —
I’m not weak.
I’m not small.
I’m a child of God.
He never left…
And I’m still fighting.