Surrendered to Silence

Lyrics

Dear alcohol and other drugs, cause I’m here and place that I can tell you something I wanted to say goodbye. I wanna say goodbye to you because you meant a lot to me and you’ve been with me for a long time. I met you when I was about 15 years old and I didn’t know what I was getting myself into and you tried to say to me then I couldn’t hang that. I was not in a place that I should be that I’m out of my domain and that I belong somewhere else but not with you. But me being me I had to prove you wrong that I can be wherever I want when I want how I want that I was good enough to be part of you and the other people that you allowed in your life, but I had to check up my sleeve. I was gonna stay low and figure out how I could have you in my life forever because you did something for me and it allowed me not to have to deal with me and I wanted it so bad not to deal with me as I had so many things that had happened to me before I met you and that I wanted to be a part of something that kept me away from dealing with myself and you had it man you had it in a way that was the most perfect in all instances gave me what I needed so I never had to take the time to look at the things and why I needed you in my life. It was like a personal guarantee as long as I had you in my life I never had to deal with all of my own pain and shortcomings, and my insecurities my hate my sadness. You were the most important person that I could ever meet in my life you gave me happiness, protect loyalty you were loyal so loyal he never let me down but today I gotta say goodbye and I gotta get myself ready for all the trials and tribulations and live life experience things that I’ve never thought could even be possible. I’m saying goodbye because my wife is more important than you and you got in the way of that and I’m so disappointed that I couldn’t see that that you prevented me from seeing what real support and love and commitment was you fucked that you got in the way of my boys my three sons that my wife gave me you got in the way of me dealing with my mental health, which has brought me a lifetime of pain and sorrow and regret but again you were a dope friend. I thought you know you were good. You made me feel like nothing else matters that nobody was going to determine what I was it wasn’t gonna be and if those things were even true, you gave me an opportunity to figure out a way to twist it so I was able to be on top. You gave me the opportunity to take the chances that I took in my life about three years ago you gave me an opportunity by taking a big chance in my life and made me money and you literally took a $5000 investment and you turned it into $93,000 a year later so why would I give you up but again man goodbye goodbye to your fake lying manipulative non-transparent ass I don’t want you around me my kids, my wife, the friends that I may or may not have but stay away from me so I can experience all the things that I always wanted to goodbye so I can experience me goodbye so I can heal from me goodbye so I can heal from my dad goodbye so I can heal from my mother and just goodbye because it’s time to say goodbye. Goodbye because you almost killed me the other day and you landed me in the hospital with my blood pressure all crazy and I had a minor stroke cause you contributed to that I hope you get it man. I just wanted to at least give you something that’s real a real goodbye because you made me think you cared when you just didn’t and I just wanted to make sure you knew I was saying goodbye so you couldn’t try to sneak back into my life stay the fuck away from me or I’ll deal with things the way you and I would deal with things together and you know what that means.