Lyrics
VERSE 1 You ask me what’s wrong I don’t know what to say I’ve said it a hundred times In a hundred different ways The room is too loud Even when no one speaks I hear every little sound But I can’t hear me The TV, the crickets A plane in the sky My body says danger My brain knows it lies But knowing means nothing When every nerve is awake So please stop asking me To explain what I can’t change PRE-CHORUS I’ve spent my whole life Finding words for everyone Now I don’t have any left I’m done CHORUS The dictionary is closed I don’t know how else to say it I’m not mad, I’m not leaving I’m too numb to explain it I don’t wanna die I just need some peace I need five damn minutes Where my body believes That the war is over That I made it home I’m still here I’m just shut down The dictionary is closed For now VERSE 2 I know that you need me I know you want me back But everybody keeps reaching For whatever I have left I’ve carried the answers I’ve carried the blame I’ve carried the people Who never carried my weight I told you what hurts me I told you what helps And somehow I still had To translate myself Now I’m staring through you And the words don’t arrive I’m not trying to punish you I’m trying to survive PRE-CHORUS I’ve spent my whole life Making sure everyone understands Now I can’t keep holding Everybody’s hand CHORUS The dictionary is closed I don’t know how else to say it I’m not mad, I’m not leaving I’m too numb to explain it I don’t wanna die I just need some peace I need five damn minutes Where my body believes That the war is over That I made it home I’m still here I’m just shut down The dictionary is closed For now BRIDGE I can hear the air move I can hear the floor shift I can feel the temperature Change against my skin I can hear the plane above me Like it’s coming through the wall I can hear everything And feel nothing at all That’s the part You don’t understand I’m flooded and empty At the same damn time So I go quiet I go somewhere inside Because it’s the only place I can hide from my mind FINAL CHORUS The dictionary is closed There is nothing left to say I’ve been translating pain Every single day I don’t wanna die I just need some peace I need the world to stop needing me Until I come back to me The dictionary is closed Please don’t make me define it I’m still here I’m just shut down Trying to survive in silence I’m not mad I’m not gone I’m not giving up I’m shut down The dictionary is closed For now
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