When I meet my Maker

Lyrics

Verse 1 — soft, almost whispered I met a girl And fell in love at first sight… She was beautiful, She was kind, But she was never mine. And somewhere deep inside I fucking knew it… But I closed my eyes And played the fool. I believed every “I looove youuu…” Even when her eyes Were telling me the truth. She blamed me for everything, And God, I believed her… I carried every word Like it was carved into my skin. Pre-Chorus — slowly building Why was I blind? Why was I dumb? Why did I give her Everything I had? Why did I— FAAAAAALLLL… IIIIINNNN… LOOOOOOOVE?! Chorus — soft, aching And when I finally saw the truth, It was like night and day. The words that used to sound like love Started sounding like goodbye. When she said, “I love you…” I heard— “GOOOOOODBYEEEEEE…” And I watched her lips say love While she spit ONE MORE FUCKING LIEEEEEEE… Verse 2 — quieter I still remember how it felt To believe she was the one. I would’ve fought the whole damn world Just to prove that I belonged. But love shouldn’t feel like begging. Love shouldn’t leave you scared. Love shouldn’t make you question If anybody ever cared. And when she finally left… She didn’t leave me alone. She left her shadow in my bedroom, Her voice inside my head, Every memory like a ghost That refuses to stay dead. And she left me… Every fucking bottle of whiskey To numb the pain. Bridge — whispered over piano So I drink… Not because I miss her. Not because I want her back. I drink because there’s a piece of me I don’t know how to get back. Music builds And every empty bottle Feels like another piece of me I’m trying to bury. But the truth is… I’M STILL FUCKING HURTING! Heavy screamo section I GAVE YOU MY HEART! YOU GAVE ME A LIE! I GAVE YOU MY SOUL! YOU LEFT ME TO DIE! YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME! WHILE YOU WERE SAYING GOODBYE! SO TELL ME— WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO LOVE YOU THIS MUCH?! Breakdown — instruments suddenly drop If I meet my maker someday… I won’t have to explain. He’ll know. He’ll know I fucking cared. He’ll know I gave everything To someone who couldn’t stay. He’ll know I wasn’t drinking Because I wanted to forget her… I was drinking Because I didn’t know How to remember myself. Final Chorus — huge, emotional And when she said, “I love you…” I heard— GOOOOOOODBYEEEEEE… And when she kissed my lips I tasted one more lie. She walked away And took a piece of me I still haven’t found. And I’m drowning In everything she left behind. But maybe… Maybe one day I’ll put the bottle down. Maybe one day I’ll look in the mirror And recognize the man She couldn’t destroy. Outro — soft, broken I don’t want to die… I just want this pain To finally fucking die. I don’t want her anymore… I want me back. So if you see me drinking… Don’t ask me about her. Ask me about the man Who’s still trying to survive Everything she left behind. Whispered Because I loved her… But I’m still here. And maybe… That’s the part She never got to take from me.