Crust of Egotistical Excess

Lyrics

Title: “Too Cool (But Actually, No)” (Parody Rap of a Delusional Legend in Their Own Mind) ⸻ [Intro – Over Serious Beat] Yeah… It’s ya boy… DJ Slightly Below Average. We out here… wearin’ socks with sandals. Let’s GO. ⸻ [Verse 1] Rollin’ up to the club on a scooter I rented Security laughed, but I said “I meant it” Tried to moonwalk, broke my back in the line Now I’m flossin’ in a neck brace—lookin’ divine My shades got one lens, my shirt’s inside out Asked for sparkling water and they kicked me out I do finger guns at strangers, wink with both eyes You’d think I’m undercover—but I’m just that wise ⸻ [Hook – Sung like a God Complex Anthem] I’m too cool for my own reflection My swag’s got WiFi disconnection Step aside, I invented cringe Put “awkward” on the map—let me binge ⸻ [Verse 2] I dabbed at a funeral, thought it was kind Told a mime he was muted, blew his mind I park in reverse ’cause I like the suspense And my Tinder bio says “I fence” (I don’t.) Gave a TED Talk on how to lose friends fast Step one: Say “YOLO”… like it’s still 2010, blast! I don’t follow trends—I chase them in Crocs Did a trust fall solo and forgot the rocks ⸻ [Bridge – Hype Whisper] Swag levels unstable… initiate… overcompensation. “He wore a fedora… and meant it.” “He clapped when the plane landed…” “He put LOL in a job resume…” ⸻ [Hook – Bigger and Dumber] I’m too cool, I might combust Stylin’ hard in a hoodie made of crust Call me cringe lord, I reign with cheese Breaking social norms like I lost my keys ⸻ [Outro – Spoken, Emotional Piano Underneath] I didn’t choose the cringe life… It waved at me from across the street, tripped over a pigeon, …and now we’re best friends. Thank you. Mic drop. But like, gently. It’s rented.