To My First Daughter.

Lyrics

(Intro) x4 I’ll see you in the only place I can find you, in my sleep. Mmm, Mmm, Mmm. I’ll see you in the only place I can find you… in my sleep. Mmm, Mmm, Mmm. (Verse 1) They say time heals, but the clock is stuck. Fourteen years wasn’t enough; you were taken from me way too soon. I stare at the hallway, waiting for the door to slam, for that teenage attitude, the “Dad, you don’t understand.” Now the silence in this house could feel like a crowd. I scream into my pillow just to hear a different sound. Fourteen years of being “Super Dad,” I thought I had a cape, but when the shadows came for you, there was no escape, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm I replay that night over and over again, still looking at your school blazer, which is still hanging on the hook. I read through your journals, but I’m scared to even look. The people around me see me walking with my head down low, but they really don’t know. I’m 31 and supposed to be in my prime, but I’ve aged a hundred years since the day that you passed. Mmm, Mmm, Mmm (Chorus) x2 Mmm, Mmm, Mmm I’ll see you in the only place I can find you, in my sleep… Mmm, Mmm, Mmm I’ll see you in the only place I can find you, in my sleep… Mmm, Mmm, Mmm (Verse 2) Every shop or place I walk through makes me think of you because it was always something we used to do. Every shop I go into, I see something you would want—that moisturiser, that hoodie, or some trainers you’d wannflaunt. I go to text your phone just to tell you I’ll be late, then the cold truth hits me like a ton of heavy weight. People say “you’re young, you can start again, you’re strong,” but how can I move forward when the blueprint’s gone? I was a kid when I had you; we grew up side by side. You were my moral compass, you were always my pride. You were my first child and my biggest saver and for that I’m forever grateful. But now I’m sitting in the dark, scrolling through the camera roll Every digital memory is a tax upon my soul. I see your TikTok dances, see you laughing with your mates While I’m trapped behind these iron-barred, metal gates. (Bridge) x2 Mmm, Mmm, Mmm Is there a heaven for a girl who didn’t get to see her prom? Is there a place where all the pain and all the hurt is gone? I’m lighting up a candle in the corner of the room Just a young dad, broken, in this forever suffocating gloom. (Verse 3) I tried to go to work, but couldn’t hold the tattoo gun The GP gave me tablets, he said they’ll help me “level out” But they don’t stop the visions or the “What ifs” and the doubt. I should’ve protected you, that’s a father’s only job Now I’m just another statistic, just another heart that’s been robbed Mmm, Mmm, Mmm But I’ll carry you, I swear, till my lungs give their last air I’ll speak your name so loud, you’ll never be a thing of the past. Fourteen years of sunshine, now the winter’s set in deep. [Chorus] x3 I’ll see you in the only place I find you…in my sleep. Mmm, Mmm, Mmm I’ll see you in the only place I find you…in my sleep. Mmm, Mmm, Mmm (Outro) x2 (Emotional melody and female choir fades out)