Limited Time Lament
A tragic yet hilarious operatic lament, Imagine a full orchestra, dramatic vibrato, and sheer heartbreak. Comedy. Silly. Quirky. Cinematic. Soundtrack.Lyrics
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[Opening Recitative – The Discovery]
[orchestra swells, a hopeful melody]
[tenor/soprano, with joyous anticipation]
🎶 [My heart is light! My soul doth sing!]
🎶 [For today, I shall feast upon my beloved thing!]
🎶 [I approach the golden gates…]
🎶 [The menu board awaits…]
[orchestra holds a suspenseful tremolo]
🎶 [But—!!]
[orchestra crashes into a dissonant minor chord, a gasp from the chorus]
🎶 [IT IS NOT THERE!]
🎶 [MY LOVE! MY JOY! MY FLEETING INDULGENCE!]
[strings weep in dramatic swells]
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[Aria of Devastation – “GONE FOREVER”]
[full soprano/tenor belt, wailing to the heavens]
🎶 [GONE FOREVEEEEEEEERRRRRR!!!!]
🎶 [No more shall my tongue be graced with thy flavor…]
🎶 [No more shall my soul be lifted by thy grease!]
🎶 [Oh, crispy, tangy, perfect bite…]
🎶 [You vanished in the dead of night!]
🎶 [And I? I am forsakeeeeen…]
[melisma riff that lasts way too long]
[chorus of mourners hums softly: “Fooooorsaaaaaaken…”]
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[Recitative – The Employee's Indifference]
[baritone cashier, monotone and unbothered]
🎶 ["Yeah, uh… that was a limited-time thing."]
🎶 ["Corporate discontinued it."]
🎶 ["D’you wanna try the new spicy ranch wrap?"]
[thunderclap, choir gasps, violins shriek in horror]
---
[Final Aria – The Desperate Plea]
[desperate, pleading, on hands and knees at the counter]
🎶 ["PLEASE, I BEG THEE, O WORKER OF THE FRYER—]
🎶 [Check the back… CHECK THE BACK!!"]
🎶 [Some frozen relic may still remaiiiiiin…]
🎶 [Some blessed remnant of its reignnnnn…]
[employee sighs, shuffles away, checks halfheartedly, returns]
🎶 ["Yeah, nah. We don’t got it."]
[orchestra sighs with a defeated descending scale]
---
[The Tragic Finale – Acceptance & Suffering]
[music slows, strings tremble, the realization sets in]
🎶 ["Then I shall waste away, bereft of joy…]
🎶 [A hollow husk, a shattered boy…"]
🎶 [A cruel, cruel world, so heartless, so grim…]
🎶 [For never again…]
[deep inhale]
🎶 [Shall I taste… THE McRIIIIIIIIIB!!!!!!!]
[absurdly long high note, audience weeping]
[orchestra crashes, timpani roll, dramatic silence]
[single fry drops to the floor]
[blackout]
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Limited Time Lament
A tragic yet hilarious operatic lament, Imagine a full orchestra, dramatic vibrato, and sheer heartbreak. Comedy. Silly. Quirky. Cinematic. Soundtrack.