Duraznos Origin

Lyrics

THE ORIGIN OF DR. DURAZNOS (Intro) Yeah... Before the shampoo wars... Before Fry Daddy Freebase... Before the Ketamine Witches and YBP terrorists... There was only one man... Dr. Duraznos. (Verse 1) Born in the shadows where the dumpsters steamed, Raised by raccoons and impossible dreams, Mama sold peaches from a roadside stand, Baby Duraznos came out with a wrench in his hand. Never played sports, never learned to behave, Spent his childhood digging tunnels and caves, Mixed Dr Pepper with motor oil sludge, Made a jet-powered scooter from a shopping cart frame. Teachers said, "Boy, you ain't right in the head," He built a microwave cannon instead, Turned the cafeteria pudding to steel, Then sold it back to students for a five-dollar deal. By age thirteen he was feared in the town, Had a laboratory hidden underground, Conducting experiments nobody approved, Trying to teach possums how to sharpen tools. (Hook) Dr. Duraznos! Mad genius, king of the bizarre! Dr. Duraznos! Built a spaceship from a stolen car! Dr. Duraznos! Half inventor, half disaster zone! Everybody laughed... Till he built himself a throne! (Verse 2) One night a meteor fell from the sky, Landed in a swamp where the dead fish lie, Duraznos ran out with a bucket and spoon, Scooped up the fragments underneath the moon. The rock was glowing with forbidden power, Smelled like gasoline mixed with flowers, He melted it down in a deep fryer vat, Created a substance nobody could match. His eyebrows vanished in a brilliant flash, The whole damn workshop erupted to ash, When the smoke cleared out and the dust settled down, Duraznos stood there with a glowing gold crown. Knowledge exploded straight into his brain, Blueprints and formulas driving him insane, He discovered dimensions hidden from sight, And how to weaponize shampoo at night. (Hook) Dr. Duraznos! Mad genius, king of the bizarre! Dr. Duraznos! Built a spaceship from a stolen car! Dr. Duraznos! Half inventor, half disaster zone! Everybody laughed... Till he built himself a throne! (Verse 3) Then came the rivals from the shadows below, Degenerates plotting everywhere he'd go, Ketamine witches and cigarette kings, Trying to steal all his marvelous things. Mamadera marched with an army of fools, YBP raiders carrying stolen tools, Genieve cast curses and set things aflame, But Duraznos kept winning the game. Built Fry Daddy Freebase to defend the land, A legendary invention no one could understand, Freed every base that the enemies took, Then documented it all in a suspicious notebook. Now his name echoes wherever fools roam, From trailer parks to laboratories unknown, The king of inventions, chaos, and schemes, Still chasing impossible dumpster-born dreams. (Outro) So if you hear strange noises late at night, And see green sparks in the moonlight, Don't panic... It's probably just Dr. Duraznos Testing another terrible idea... For science.