BANNED FROM JACKSON

Lyrics

Verse 1 Well, I got in trouble with my Peter, Should've never headed south. They've been talking 'bout my Johnson Since I went and whipped that fucker out. I rolled into old Jackson Drunk and looking for some fun, Now the whole damn town remembers me For what I should've never done. Pre-Chorus The sheriff said, “Boy, pull your britches up, You've crossed the goddamn line.” I said, “Officer, kiss my ass— I was only having a good damn time.” Chorus Now I'm banned from Jackson, They say I can't come back. Kicked my bare ass out of Jackson For showing my nut sack. They've been talking 'bout my Johnson All across this little town, Yeah, I'm banned from Jackson For pulling my damn pants down. Verse 2 When I first got to the city, Folks were acting mean and rude. Could've been the heat and whiskey, Could've been because I was buck-ass nude. They don't want me down in Jackson, I'm not allowed around. Every time somebody sees my face They holler, “Get that bastard outta town!” Pre-Chorus Now I'm just a man with his dick in his hand, Learning lessons by myself. Mama always told me, “Keep that damn thing put up,” But I never listened well. Chorus Now I'm banned from Jackson, They say I can't come back. Kicked my drunken ass from Jackson For showing my damn nut sack. They've been talking 'bout my Johnson Ever since I let that bastard swing, Yeah, I'm banned from Jackson— Guess they didn't like my thing. Verse 3 They hauled my ass from Jackson, And buddy, that's no fucking doubt. They've been talking 'bout my pecker Since the night I pulled it out. The judge looked down and told me, “Son, you've had your final chance.” I said, “Your Honor, in my defense, I just forgot my fucking pants.” Bridge Now they're questioning my mental health, And every damn charge got filed. But thinking back on Jackson, Man, that weekend sure was wild. My mugshot's on every bulletin, My picture's all around, And somewhere there's a warning sign: “Keep this horny bastard outta town.” Chorus 'Cause I'm banned from Jackson, They say I can't come back. Kicked my naked ass from Jackson For showing my swinging sack. They've been talking 'bout my Johnson Since I gave that town a show, Yeah, I'm banned from Jackson— And every asshole knows. Verse 4 Well, I can never go back down there, Or they're gonna take me down. They haven't wanted me in Jackson Since my tallywhacker came to town. I might be an outlaw legend, I might be a horny outcast, But if I learned one thing in Jackson, It's that good fucking times don't last. Final Chorus Yeah, I'm banned from Jackson, Forever and a fucking day. If I cross that county line again, They're hauling my bare ass away. I got in trouble with my Peter, Should've never headed south. They've been talking 'bout my Johnson Since I went and whipped it out. Yeah, I'm banned from Jackson, And that's the way it'll be. Jackson may be done with my ass— But Jackson won't fucking forget me. Outro So if you're headed down to Jackson, Take some wisdom from this man: Drink your beer, raise some hell… And keep your goddamn pecker in your pants.