Rise, Reid, Rise

Lyrics

Long ago, beneath the Jade Mountains, There lived a mighty warrior... Peter Reed. His strength once shook the valleys. His footsteps echoed across the highest peaks. But then... The Evil LCL Machine found him. It whispered, "Skip the gym... The mountain can wait... Just one more meeting... Just one more excuse..." Slowly, the warrior faded. His armour gathered dust. His hiking boots stood silent. The Iron Dragon watched in sorrow. The ancient monks cried, "Where has our champion gone?" Then, from the highest temple, The Great Sage spoke. "A warrior is not measured by how many times he falls... But by how fiercely he rises." The words struck Peter's soul like thunder. He stood. He lifted the ancient iron. One rep. Then another. The mountains called once more. One step. Then another. The Evil LCL Machine trembled. Its endless meetings could no longer chain him. Its mountains of paperwork became pebbles beneath his feet. Its excuses lost all power. The Jade Dragon roared across the heavens. "The warrior returns!" The White Tiger bowed in respect. "The fire has awakened." Peter climbed higher than ever before. Every summit strengthened his spirit. Every deadlift shattered another chain. Every sunrise forged another legend. Then... The Machine unleashed its greatest weapon... The Infinite Calendar Invite. The legendary Pre-Meeting Meeting. The Follow-Up to the Follow-Up. The Spreadsheet of Eternal Despair. The monks gasped. But Peter only smiled. He tightened his hiking boots. Gripped the sacred barbell. And whispered... "Not today." With one mighty roar, He charged. The mountains themselves shook. The Machine cracked. Its gears exploded. Its printers surrendered. Its endless emails scattered into the wind. Then the heavens grew silent. From the ashes... A magnificent Phoenix descended from the clouds. It circled Peter Reed. Its golden flames wrapped around the fallen warrior. The old Peter vanished. A stronger Peter emerged. Forged by discipline. Forged by mountains. Forged by iron. The Phoenix cried, "Every legend falls... But only the greatest rise again." The Dragon, the Tiger and the ancient monks all knelt. For Peter Reed had become more than a warrior. He had become... The Phoenix of the Jade Mountains. The Breaker of the LCL Machine. The Climber of Impossible Peaks. The Master of Locked-In Discipline. So when the mountains call... He answers. When the barbell waits... He lifts. When excuses whisper... He laughs. For Peter Reed now knows... The only path to victory... Is to... LOCK IN.