Dead Silence

Lyrics

[intro] dead silence then a single cold piano note fading into static miray five weeks gone sascha where are you [verse 1] no plan left no goal left only concrete in my head no appointments just staring at the floor again and again no money no drive i freeze inside my own skin drunk on the ruins of what once was alone in this hell sascha you left and the apartment echoes hollow wedding plans in the trash every photo rotting away the wish for a child like a shadow hanging on the wall miray was your name now just a burn mark on my soul i am forty one broken lost my fiancee to the needle we lost our baby in week five you and me both bleeding [pre-chorus] i carry the filth like a cross talking to myself like an enemy every day drags me deeper but i fall ugly i fall dirty [chorus] everything is broken everything is broken i cling to the nothing until the nothing visits me everything is broken everything is broken yet i live in the hail of shards even when nothing feels good anymore [verse 2] self hate in the mirror i spit on my own face every mistake a knife every word too wild self destruction in motion and i know how it smells when you slowly eat yourself until no pride remains you ended us and i do not know your reason but my heart only does duty by the book since then shared kitchen yet strangers in the same room every cup a witness to our shattered dream miray gone in week five a heartbeat that stopped we both lost her you in silence me in this void [pre-chorus] i carry the filth like a cross talking to myself like an enemy every day drags me deeper but i fall ugly i fall dirty [verse 3] no warmth in my eyes only a cold reflex i push everything away because i hex myself nights stretch long when the head refuses to quiet every memory burns when the door stays shut your things still here your laugh in the hallway i bite into the air but find only emptiness i wanted to be a father wanted future and space now i only speak with shards in my dreams my heart like a letter that never arrived and i hate the man who took me out of that [bridge 1] why do you not speak anymore why do you not want to live anymore if you end yourself then i end myself too because i swore to you i would always be at your side why did you not tell me you were pregnant i would have been there for you through every storm miray lost in week five we both lost our child you withdraw from everyone no word no glance the pills on the table a silent slow pull but the pain stays the grief stays the loss stays [pre-chorus] i carry the filth like a cross talking to myself like an enemy every day drags me deeper but i fall ugly i fall dirty [chorus] everything is broken everything is broken i cling to the nothing until the nothing visits me everything is broken everything is broken yet i live in the hail of shards even when nothing feels good anymore [verse 4] the forty one year old man stares at the wall lost his love to drugs lost his baby to silence sascha you do not talk to anyone anymore you lock yourself away wanting the slow fade we lost miray together in that fifth week a name that burns a future that died i hate myself for every word i said too much for the hours wasted instead of holding you now i sit here wishing i could go back change everything make it right for us three [bridge 2] when morning finds me i am not quite gone only scratched only gutted only a shadow in the dirt i no longer scream your name into the night i write it on paper until the rage finally cracks the empty room the scattered photos the cold air miray gone too soon sascha drifting away i am broken i am lost but the grief is real we both lost our child we both lost our way [final chorus] everything is broken everything is broken i cling to the nothing until the nothing visits me everything is broken everything is broken yet i live in the hail of shards even when nothing feels good anymore everything is broken everything is broken i cling to the nothing until the nothing visits me [outro] fading piano single note then silence miray five weeks sascha come back everything is broken dead silence