The Ballad of Uncle Red
Long Country Ballad, slow, intense, weathered old male vocals, piano, harmonica, guitarLyrics
[OPENING]
This is the ballad of Uncle Red.
[INSTRUMENTS PLAY US IN]
[SHORT INSTRUMENT SOLO]
[INTRO]
Uncle Red was a big man, large hands, solid and strong.
Stood about six foot-two and his heart of gold fit the size of he.
He wore a sharky grin paired with a wild cutting laugh.
He had no kids of his own but loved his niece and nephew with all his soul.
Uncle Red was a blue collar guy who seemed to always have a drink in his hand.
He was an alcoholic and never could stay with one woman.
Divorces and girlfriends, drunken bar fights and a burning sadness for his lengthy record of underachieving.
[VERSE 1]
This man was a hero to his nephew Marty well before the beast showed.
Marty was a rambunctious boy no older than twelve, the year the summer turned to hell. Marty was born with legs that didn’t work.
Uncle Red wasn’t just his uncle but also his best friend.
[CHORUS]
I said time and time again you can’t bet managers.
Piss on the Yankees,
Piss on the Indians,
Uncle Red fought the Rev-rend Werewolf for the kids.
[VERSE 2]
Janie was Marty’s older sister she was bothered by Uncle Red’s drinking and womanizing ways.
She became more distant to Uncle Red but still loved him so, though it would seem otherwise when trying to hurt Marty during their times of argument.
[CHORUS]
I said time and time again you can’t bet managers.
Piss on the Yankees,
Piss on the Indians,
Uncle Red fought tooth and nail with a Werewolf.
[BRIDGE]
Uncle Red built Marty a wheelchair motorbike that he named “Silver Bullet” an amazing work of ingenuity and craftsmanship. The thing was fast and dangerous.
This is a Legendary Uncle at work.
[VERSE 3]
Marty sees a beast late one nigh lighting off fireworks on the old town bridge.
He is being targeted by the man who is cursed by the moonlight.
He tells his sister and after time she begins to believe.
They tell Uncle Red, but he knows that Werewolves aren’t real.
[CHORUS]
I said time and time again you can’t bet managers.
Piss on the Yankees,
Piss on the Indians,
Uncle Red shouts “Jumpin’ Jesus Palomino!”
[VERSE 4]
Uncle Red loves his niece and nephew so he made two silver bullets and stayed the night.
With their parents out of town, as dusk fades into a full moon night.
Uncle Red awakens from a lit cigarette burning his hand.
The beast busts into the house, during the late witching hour, to kill all inside.
Many towns men and women have been gutted by its sharp monster paws. Now it’s time for Uncle Red’s fearful fight.
The living room will become their rasslin' mat. He grabs the fire poker time to go to work.
[OUTRO END CHORUS]
I said time and time again you can’t bet managers.
Piss on the Yankees,
Piss on the Indians,
Uncle Red proved the time of the beast will always pass.
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