
Joe, Pick Kled Now
Modest mouse dashboard parodyLyrics
"Joe, Take Up Kled"
(Verse 1 – The Legend of Joe)
Oh, Joe, the prince of a land so grand,
Where the mountains rise and the deserts stand,
From Durrani's rule to the Lion's fight,
Your blood runs strong with a warrior’s might.
Yet on Summoner’s Rift, you hesitate still,
Ignoring the call of a yordle’s will!
You dodge and weave, but hear me well—
Joe, pick Kled, embrace the spell!
(Pre-Chorus – The Call to Kled)
For through the peaks of Hindu Kush,
Where riders charge in a mighty rush,
No fear was known, no ground was fled,
So why won’t you just pick Kled?!
(Chorus – Why Kled?)
You’re not some Zarbon, soft and vain,
No preening fool who fears the pain!
You're Ahmad Shah, a king, a blade,
Yet you hover Yasuo? I'm afraid.
(Verse 2 – Afghanistan, War, and Kled)
From Ghaznavid steel to Timur’s raid,
The Afghan pride was never swayed.
Like Kled upon his lizard bold,
Your people never did what they were told!
Yet here you sit, unsure, unsure,
Like a post-Frieza Zarbon lure.
Metamorphosis won’t save you here,
Kled’s the pick, now grab your spear!
(Bridge – The Water Dilemma)
Oh, Joe, a prince so proud and keen,
Yet water leaves you quite unseen.
Like Zarbon gasping, lost at sea,
You’d drown, you fool—just take Kled, please!
(Final Chorus – Accept Your Fate!)
The Mughals came, the British too,
Yet none could shake the Pashtun view.
A warrior stands, a fighter stays,
So pick Kled now and end this phase!
(Outro – The Final Plea)
No more delays, no cowardice shown,
A prince of Kabul should hold his throne!
Skaarl awaits, the charge is set,
Joe, my friend—pick Kled, now
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