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War inside me

War inside me

🎸 Style: Jelly Roll × Struggle Jennings × Upchurch with swampy slide guitar, 808s that rattle the tailgate, a mournful harmonica, and a choir creeping in on the last chorus. Equal parts backwoods confession and late-night redemption. The kind of song you blast on a dirt road because therapy closes at five and speakers don't.

Lyrics

Intro] Yeah... Lord, hear me... Ain't no enemy meaner than the one in my own skin. [Verse 1] Wake up every mornin', swear today's the day I change, By sundown I'm back out here, still shackled to the chains. Got a devil on my shoulder, got an angel callin' too, Every road I try to walk somehow bends back to the blue. Mirror tellin' stories that my soul don't wanna hear, Smile on my face but inside it's all fear. Diggin' through the ashes tryin' to find what's left of me, Fightin' every battle that nobody else can see. [Pre-Chorus] I know what's right... I still turn wrong. Been carryin' this cross for way too long. [Chorus] What I wanna do... I don't do. What I hate... Lord, that's what I choose. Heart full of heaven, hands full of sin, Fightin' the same damn war again and again. Can't outrun the man that's wearin' my face, Still beggin' God for a little more grace. I'm still standin', bruised and black and blue, 'Cause what I wanna do... I don't do. [Verse 2] Bottle on the counter, memories in the smoke, Every promise that I made feels like another joke. Mama kept on prayin', daddy said, "Stand tall," Funny how the hardest fight ain't fists at all. I've been broke, been lost, been buried alive, Still hear a quiet voice say, "Boy... survive." Maybe scars ain't proof that I failed the test, Maybe they're reminders I ain't quit yet. [Bridge] If redemption's got a backroad, I'll walk it barefoot. If mercy's still knockin', I ain't gonna ignore it. I ain't perfect. Never claimed to be. Just another outlaw tryin' to outrun me. [Final Chorus] What I wanna do... I don't do. What I hate... Lord, that's what I choose. But the sun keeps risin', so I rise too, Covered in the dust, but I'm breakin' through. One more prayer, one more fight to prove, The man I wanna be... ain't through.

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