Midnight Serenade at the Beach

Lyrics

(Verse 1) All-inclusive wristband, sunburn and booze Living our best life, free cocktails and food Then round the corner like a tax bill surprise Here comes Vince with his dead shark eyes Opens his mouth and the holiday dies Talking pure shite and recycled lies Same boring stories, same dull crap Listening to Vince is a hostage trap Julie stands there like she’s buffering slow Lights are on but nobody home, you know Just nodding along like she’s glued in place While Vince chats bollocks in your fucking face ⸻ (Chorus) Ohhh it’s the All-Inclusive Curse Free drinks flowing but Vince is worse Cheap as fuck, tighter than glue Counting ice cubes in his Coke Zero too We hide by the buffet, we dive by the pool Fake diarrhoea just to dodge that fool But he spots us sweating in 30 degree And parks his boring arse right next to me ⸻ (Verse 2) He’ll queue for snacks like it’s wartime rations Arguing over chicken nugget portions Won’t tip a penny, won’t buy a round If spending money made noise, he’d make no sound Talks about deals he got in 2003 Like it’s breaking news for you and me “Did I tell you…” — OH FUCKING HELL Aye Vince, you’ve told it twelve times as well Julie just sighs with that haunted stare Like she’s mentally booked a flight outta there You know she’s dreaming of a different life Or hiding his passport and fucking off mid-flight ⸻ (Chorus) It’s the All-Inclusive Curse again Unlimited lager, unlimited pain We duck behind cocktails, pretend to be asleep But Vince is hovering like a budget creep Julie trailing like she’s lost her soul While Vince describes a broken garden hole We’d rather listen to a screaming child Than Vince describing plumbing from 1995 ⸻ (Bridge) We fake phone calls, we fake bad knees Pretend we’ve joined a cult overseas Hide in the toilets, climb out the back Anything just to dodge his chat He corners you mid-bloody bite Talking mortgages during karaoke night Mate, we’re smashed on rum and coke Not here for your boring bloke folk ⸻ (Final Chorus) All-inclusive drinks held high Praying Vince just walks on by But here he comes with that budget grin And Julie slowly dying within If boredom was a sport he’d win gold With stories older than Julie feels old Another night of escape and bluff SHUT THE FUCK UP VINCE… we’ve heard enough