Buttfucked by an Alien

Lyrics

[Intro — acoustic guitar and distant pedal steel] [Spoken quietly] I don’t expect you to believe me. Hell… I barely believe it myself. [Verse 1 — low and restrained] Woke up sore, lights still in the sky, Probe marks on my cheeks, I don’t know why. Green fingers deep, no lube in sight, That alien rode me hard all night. [Pre-Chorus — bass enters, tension building] I remember cold hands, And a light above my head. Then everything went silent, And I woke up near dead. [Chorus — full country band, emotional but controlled] I think I got buttfucked by an alien, Ass stretched wide, now I’m walkin’ funny again. A UFO came down and claimed my hole, Took me to the stars and filled my soul. [Instrumental Turnaround — four bars] Pedal-steel answer followed by a low electric-guitar phrase. [Verse 2 — drums become heavier] Tentacles wrapped tight around my waist, Pumped me full of that cosmic paste. No safe word, just pure anal fate, Woke up leaking on the interstate. [Pre-Chorus — vocal begins to crack] My boots were in the ditch, My buckle in the road. There were strange lights disappearing, And a burning down below. [Chorus — stronger, pedal steel crying underneath] I think I got buttfucked by an alien, Ass stretched wide, now I’m walkin’ funny again. A UFO came down and claimed my hole, Took me to the stars and filled my soul. [Verse 3 — stripped back to guitar and voice] The sheriff found me barefoot, Just south of Abilene. He asked me what had happened, And what those markings mean. I pointed toward the heavens, But the night had turned to black. I said, “They came and took me, And I don’t think they’re coming back.” [Bridge — half-time, dark and dramatic] Now every time the moonlight Falls across that county line, I feel something deep inside me That don’t feel wholly mine. I hear a distant humming And I know it won’t be long, Till that silver ship comes calling And they take me back where I belong. [Instrumental Solo — eight bars] Slow, mournful pedal-steel solo followed by a restrained electric-guitar bend. [Final Chorus — widest and most emotional section] I think I got buttfucked by an alien, Ass stretched wide, now I’m walkin’ funny again. A UFO came down and claimed my hole, Took me to the stars and filled my soul. Yeah, I think I got buttfucked by an alien, And part of me knows they’ll be coming back again. When that pale green light comes shining through, I’ll pull down my jeans and let them do what they do. [Outro — instruments slowly fall away] [Quietly] Some men get taken by whiskey. Some men get taken by love. Me? I got taken by something from above. [Final pedal-steel note fades]