Last Orders at the Prince of Wales

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Sticky floor, same old stools Barry’s lost his darts again Sandra’s singing way off key Flirting with your married friend Neon clock hits half past twelve Landlord gives that tired stare Wipes the bar and rings the bell You can taste it in the air [Chorus] Last orders at the Prince of Wales Drink up, shut up, grab your tales If you can still read, then read the sign “You don’t have to go, but you can’t stay this time” He says, “Down ‘em now, you lovely lot I’ve heard your stories, heard the rot You don’t have to like it, but it’s time you know Finish your pint and fuck off home” (hey!) [Verse 2] Dave’s asleep on two barstools Jack’s proposing to his chips Someone’s nicked the beer mat tower Karen’s lost her purse and lips DJ’s playing one more tune Someone yells, “Make it a slow one!” Landlord kills the jukebox dead “Party’s over, you’ve all had your fun” [Chorus] Last orders at the Prince of Wales Drink up, shut up, grab your tales If you can still read, then read the sign “You don’t have to go, but you can’t stay this time” He says, “Down ‘em now, you lovely lot I’ve heard your stories, heard the rot You don’t have to like it, but it’s time you know Finish your pint and fuck off home” (oh yeah) [Bridge] You say, “Just half a lager?” He says, “Buy a dog, not beer” Lights come up, the magic’s gone Every face looks rough in here He’s stacking chairs, you’re stacking lies “Just one more,” you start to groan He points straight at the swinging door “That way, sunshine – now fuck off home” [Chorus] Last orders at the Prince of Wales Drink up, shut up, grab your tales If you can still read, then read the sign “You don’t have to go, but you can’t stay this time” He says, “Down ‘em now, you lovely lot I’ve heard your stories, heard the rot You don’t have to like it, but it’s carved in stone Finish your pint and fuck off home” [Outro] Coats on, kebab plans, taxi queue Same time tomorrow, same old crew Prince of Wales, our second home Till he rings that bell: “Now fuck off home”