Wonderfully Wobbly America

Lyrics

[Verse 1] I woke up late, missed the county fair Put on two boots that were a matching pair Grabbed a pancake bigger than my head And saluted the syrup bottle instead [Pre-Chorus] From the cornfield fence to the diner booth We tell tall tales with unreasonable truth [Chorus] Oh, America, you wonderfully wobbly place With a bald eagle sticker on a pickup case You’ve got fifty states and a million pies And somebody’s grilling before sunrise Oh, America, shake your ketchup in the air We’re all wearing shorts to a formal affair If freedom had a flavor, it’d be barbecue And a little bit of mustard on a brand-new shoe [Verse 2] There’s a cowboy accountant in Wyoming town He rounds every number up, then rounds it back down A Florida grandma races her boat Past a confused alligator in a tiny coat [Pre-Chorus] From the mountain snow to the desert sand Everybody’s got a snack in hand [Chorus] Oh, America, you wonderfully wobbly place With a bald eagle sticker on a pickup case You’ve got fifty states and a million pies And somebody’s grilling before sunrise Oh, America, shake your ketchup in the air We’re all wearing shorts to a formal affair If freedom had a flavor, it’d be barbecue And a little bit of mustard on a brand-new shoe [Bridge] New York has a pigeon that thinks it’s a mayor Texas has a hat that needs its own trailer Maine has a lobster with a business plan Hawaii has a ukulele fan We may not agree on the proper lawn chair But we can all agree there’s too much cheese there [Final Chorus] Oh, America, you wonderfully wobbly place With a bald eagle sticker on a pickup case You’ve got fifty states and a million pies And somebody’s grilling before sunrise Oh, America, raise your paper plate high Let the barbecue smoke make a patriotic sky If freedom had a flavor, it’d be barbecue And a little bit of mustard on a brand-new shoe [Outro] Land of the brave and the snack attack If you borrow my lawn chair, please bring it back!