She Intercedes

Lyrics

[Intro] Six years old. Mama was across the parking lot. Doors locked. Windows locked. And I knew what I heard. [Verse 1] I knew the footsteps from the ceiling overhead Knew the creaking boards, knew when he went for cigarettes But these steps were in my hallway, moving through my home Soft across the carpet when I knew I was alone Lying in my mama’s bed, already full of fear Then the bedroom door slammed shut, but somehow made no sound Only air against my face, no window open wide So I ran out of that room and disappeared into the night [Pre-Chorus] Mama was waiting somewhere on the other side Steam was rising from the sewer as I ran beneath the lights Then something started lifting through that boiling crimson haze And even now I haven’t lost the details of that face [Chorus] I was six when I stomped on the devil’s head Blue oily skin wrapped in burning red Wrinkles like a face that I could reach out and touch But something in me knew there wasn’t flesh beneath my foot Fear said run, but something made me charge instead So I jumped with both feet at the monster’s head Came down hard— CLANG! Cold steel beneath my feet Nothing on the grate Nothing underneath [Verse 2] That glow wasn’t orange, wasn’t ordinary flame Brilliant crimson at the edges, darker underneath Layers moving through each other, light inside the deep Rising into horn-like shapes above him through the steam The face looked solid, every wrinkle sharp and clear But somehow at six years old I knew he wasn’t really there So instead of running backward, I ran straight ahead And threw my little body down upon that giant head [Breakdown] Steel rang beneath me Pain shot through my feet And just as the thought came— I beat— [DEEP MULTILAYERED LAUGHTER] One laugh But countless voices Low as thunder High as screams Every octave stacked together Laughing me to scorn Before the thought could even finish Before pride could take a breath— [Silence] A woman’s voice: “That’s not true. I did.” [Bridge] No argument No explanation Just a correction I understood Before I had the words to name it I had courage But courage was a grace Strength was given to a frightened child Standing in that place And Lord, I’ve spent too many years Still learning what I learned that night How quickly pride can call something mine When heaven supplied the fight I don’t hate the ones who frightened me I don’t wish a soul condemned If mercy stood between that darkness and me Then mercy is what I ask for them [Final Chorus] I was six when I stomped on the devil’s head My feet struck iron, there was nothing there A thousand voices laughed before my thought was said Then one voice cut clean through them: “That’s not true. I did.” So I won’t wear a crown for courage I won’t pretend the strength was mine A child still had to make the leap But grace was there the whole damn time Fear was real The choice was real These little feet still left the ground But whatever gave me strength that night Was stronger than what I had found [Outro] Six years old Running through the steam Thinking I had fought a monster Before I knew what courage means I made the leap My feet hit steel But I don’t claim the victory I was frightened. I still ran. And the courage was a grace.