
[Intro] Whoa-oh, whoa-oh (He’s fine, he’s fine, he’s fine) [Verse 1] Badge says private equity, cubicle says IR He’s not closing deals, he’s charming LPs from afar Bought a house last summer like the peak wouldn’t break Paid too much cash at a seven-and-a-half rate He can ride a bicycle, neighborhood loop Never clipped in, never chased a group [Pre-Chorus] When somebody wins one, he shrugs it off like “Yeah, I could’ve done that if I wanted to…” [Chorus] He’s just about average and that’s the whole damn show Knows just enough to sound like an expert on things he doesn’t know Not a loser, not a legend, just a guy who thinks he’s both Could’ve done it if he wanted to, that’s the gospel according to him Whoa-oh, just about average Whoa-oh, and he’s pretty sure he’s not [Verse 2] Jimmy built a sauna, cold plunge in the yard Greg’s got a tab open, “yeah, I’m looking into that” Alex beats the market like it owes him rent Greg’s returns are “fine,” which is a very Greg-ish win Talks like the smartest guy pouring the beer Knows what the median knows, just louder from here [Pre-Chorus] When somebody builds one, he shrugs it off like “Yeah, I could’ve done that if I wanted to…” [Chorus] He’s just about average and that’s the whole damn show Knows just enough to sound like an expert on things he doesn’t know Not a loser, not a legend, just a guy who thinks he’s both Could’ve done it if he wanted to, that’s the gospel according to him Whoa-oh, just about average Whoa-oh, and he’s pretty sure he’s not [Bridge] You should’ve seen him in the group chat When Alex posted the gain “Yeah I clocked that ticker too Just didn’t wanna play the game” Jimmy fired the sauna up Greg liked the story twice “I was gonna put one in the basement Didn’t wanna pay the price” Wikipedia-confident, comment-section sure Knows a little about a lot of things And nothing less, nothing more [Final Chorus] He’s just about average and that’s the whole damn show Knows just enough to sound like an expert on things he doesn’t know Not a loser, not a legend, just a guy who thinks he’s both Could’ve done it if he wanted to, that’s the gospel according to him Whoa-oh, just about average Whoa-oh, Greg, we still love you Whoa-oh, just about average (Yeah, I could’ve written this if I wanted to)
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