Sir Barks-a-Lot Speaks His Mind
Lyrics
[Verse 1] Found a dog at the shelter Tag said "quiet Kind House-trained" Soon as we pulled from the parking lot He said "Take a left Use your brain" He raids the fridge on a Tuesday Critiques my love life on Wednesday By Friday night he's on my phone "Buddy That text? Hit delete Then pray" [Chorus] My dog can talk And he will not stop Says "Sit Stay humble You’re a bit of a flop" Tells the mailman "Run This guy can’t cook" My talking dog Is a stand-up comic with a cookbook (woof-woof, rimshot) [Verse 2] He hates my favorite TV show Calls the plot "a flaming mess" Live tweets everything I binge "Plot hole Plot hole Change the channel Yes" He’s got opinions on politics On socks with sandals On my hair He paused his chew toy just to say "Have you tried folding your underwear?" [Chorus] My dog can talk And he will not stop Says "Delete that selfie It’s a total flop" Growls at my ex in the grocery line My talking dog Says "Upgrade taste And you’ll do fine" (woof-woof, he’s right) [Bridge] [Spoken Mock-dramatic] I asked the vet "Is this normal?" He checked the chart and frowned "Side effect of too much streaming Sir And snacks left lying around" [Chorus] My dog can talk And he will not stop Says "Walk more Doomscrolling makes you rot" Barks at my phone till I put it down My talking dog Might be the wisest goof in town (yeah, good boy) My talking dog …also changed my Netflix password somehow
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