Velvet Cave Dragon
Lyrics
[Verse 1] From a velvet cave beneath the county fair Came a scaly surprise with a forked-tail flair Ruby-red ridges and a grin carved wide A legendary bedroom beast with nowhere to hide [Pre-Chorus] The candles flicker, the door swings back Tiny crown tilted on a satin-black tack [Chorus] Big bad dragon dildo, ruler of the night Breathing sparks and trouble, ready for a fight Big bad dragon dildo, thunder in the room When it rises from its treasure chest, everybody makes some room [Verse 2] It had a golden harness and a battle cry A ridiculous wingspan reaching for the sky The wizard said, “Careful, that thing’s got pride” The knight just laughed and took it for a ride [Pre-Chorus] The castle shook, the curtains flew The dragon asked, “What shall I do?” [Chorus] Big bad dragon dildo, ruler of the night Breathing sparks and trouble, ready for a fight Big bad dragon dildo, thunder in the room When it rises from its treasure chest, everybody makes some room [Bridge] No maiden in distress, no hero in disguise Just grown-up adventurers with mischievous eyes A little less slaying, a little more delight The fiercest little legend in the candlelight [Guitar Solo] [Final Chorus] Big bad dragon dildo, stomping through the hall Scaring all the boring folks and thrilling one and all Big bad dragon dildo, raise the velvet plume The fantasy gets filthy when the beast comes into bloom [Outro] Lock the door, dim the flame Tell the bards to learn its name Big bad dragon dildo, curled beside the bed A silly little monster with a crown upon its head
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