Secret Tour, No Wi‑Fi

Lyrics

[Intro – spoken, laid back] Yeah… Before anyone gets excited — relax. We’re talking secrets, not sexuality. Listen… --- [Verse 1 – storytime flex] Met a guy in the corner, said “bro, trust me,” I said “cool,” whispered something low and husky. Next thing I know it’s doing a world tour, My private business got a passport and a brochure. Man said he’s solid, said he’s discreet, Two days later it’s a TED Talk in the street. I’m like “wow… impressive delivery,” Didn’t know my life came with free Wi-Fi connectivity. He’s nodding like a therapist, face real calm, But his mouth’s got loose like it’s sponsored by spam. I told him one thing — ONE — confidential, Now it’s trending with commentary and a sequel potential. --- [Hook – playful, catchy] Come out the closet — not like that, my guy, I mean stop hiding motives, say it with your chest, don’t lie. If you’ve got something cooking, take it out the pan, Don’t smile in my face with a fork in your hand. Come out the closet — lights on, be seen, I’m allergic to whispers and behind-the-scenes schemes. I’m not mad, just amused, honestly impressed, Didn’t know secrecy came with a press. --- [Verse 2 – witty observations] See I move real calm, people think I’m asleep, Nah, I’m just observing like a nature documentary. Watching behaviours, patterns, routines, Who changes their tone when opportunity leans. Some folks play chess, some play charades, Some wear friendly masks like it’s part of the game. They’ll clap when you’re quiet, squint when you rise, Suddenly your success needs “context” and “sides.” I don’t argue with rumours, I invoice results, Let success do the talking, I relax and coast. They’re counting my steps, I’m counting my blessings, Different scoreboards, different lessons. --- [Hook – repeat] Come out the closet — not like that, relax, I mean stop doing mystery tours of the facts. If you’ve got an issue, bring it to the floor, Not the group chat, podcast, and extended encore. Come out the closet — daylight behaviour, I don’t do riddles, I do truth with flavour. No beef, no stress, no dramatic mess, Just clarity, comedy, and progress — next. --- [Outro – slick, confident] So if you see me smiling, don’t get it twisted, I’m not oblivious — I’m just selective. Say what you mean, stand where you stand, I respect honesty… even when it’s awkward.