Midnight Outback Echoes

Lyrics

2020 (Black Balloon) I can hear it — the knocking at the door again, But there’s empty spice empty bottles on the floor again The black dog doesn’t play fetch I keep trying but he doesn’t bring the ball back again now my parties are black balloons floating weightlessly celebrating my Success through 1/2 decent memory I created where my memories have been traded forHe always comes back. I have meant what I have said, but it’s hard to make decisions when I’m half dead half my night lost looking for the other half the part of me who was on the half in their head the other half was half baked from the half empty Bag I halved the baggie with Harvey, feel like a half It used to be a party with me, now I can’t speak honestly. You promised me, I promised me, That self-care would outrun my modesty. But it’s been a couple months, and it’s not just my clothes up in a bunch, half mean when I have to say that it’s hard to remember what the other half was thinking because only half of me was present that day the other half was overthinking about the half an hour that was half a chance the half hour window to sleep in another It’s my mind in a maze, my mind in a mess — God bless everything I haven’t laid to rest. The one who kept me upright when I slipped, Same one who pulled the rug out when I tripped. Fed on my sorrow, said “I’m here for you,” Misery loves company — that ain’t fucking clear to you? The one who dragged me out the static, Building big dreams, cinematic. Then it became a habit, A reason to go at it, Turned from creative to an addict. Then I slept through, Monday became Tuesday, then it was Sunday. Like what the fuck did I do? Felt like the same day, same view, same truth. I don’t forget that version of me sticking true, The one who kept picking me up when I felt blue. The one who stood steady when I broke in two, When no one else could see what I was going through. Now I throw away the key, hide away and isolate, It’s finally me staring back — and I can’t relate. Someone I don’t recognise, it’s in the eyes, The pain’s alive, no disguise. You look straight, but you don’t see, You don’t think I’ve lost — I’ve lost plenty. You don’t think I’ve lost friends — I’ve lost many. You don’t think I used to live a life before 2020. That’s when everything changed, When the noise went quiet and the silence stayed. When the light in my head started to fade, And I stopped being me, but I still wore my name.