Forkin' Around (Nada's Confession)

Lyrics

Hi, my name is Nada… And I got a problem. But don't judge me—y’all might be sittin’ on some ketchup packets right now. Yeah, I walk in smooth with my shades all crooked, Ain’t buyin’ nothin’ but I’m lookin’ like I booked it. Taco spot knew me by my walk, But not for the food—nah, it’s the forks I stalk. Plastic, shiny, wrapped up neat, I scoop ‘em like candy, that's my lil treat. I ain’t payin’? Good, ‘cause they was free! But I cleared out the tray like a shopping spree! —“Nadaaaa, stopppp,” they said with a sigh, “You takin’ all the forks, now the ketchup’s dry!” Now they keep 'em in the back with a lock and a bell, Like I'm some kind of fork cartel! I’m Nada! (Whaaat?) I be stealin’ free thangs! Straws in my sleeve and a lid in my bangs! Napkins? Yo, I took a whole stack! Forks in my bag, now they hid 'em in the back! Forks in the back! Forks in the back! Walk in like a queen, do the klepto clap! Forks in the back! Forks in the back! Nada in the house, and I'm back on track! Hit the AA like “Hi, I’m Nada again,” Clean for a week but I backslid then. Didn’t steal liquor, no pills, no smoke, Just twenty-seven forks and a Diet Coke. They was free, yo! That’s what I said! But I filled my purse like I’m preppin’ for the Feds. Why? I dunno, it’s a rush, a thrill! Got plastic spoons stuffed in my windowsill. Now Pastor Joe won’t let me near the potluck, Said I walked out with his ladle—just my luck. Y’all, I ain’t tryna be that lady in the news, But I mighta took a tray... and a pair of shoes. I’m Nada! (Whaaat?) I be stealin’ free thangs! Salt in my pocket, mustard on my chain! Sauce cups click like a snack attack— But forks in my bag? Got ‘em hid in the back! Forks in the back! Forks in the back! They be whisperin’ “she’s the klepto snack!” Forks in the back! Forks in the back! Nada on the mic, and I ain’t holdin’ back! I got a drawer, y’all, FULL of sporks, Spoons from Panda, knives from Stork’s, Chick-fil-A tried to put me on blast— So I took a sign and dipped out fast! Look, I’m workin’ on it. Next time I take just one fork... maybe two. And if it's chili cheese fries— Y'all better not judge me. Hi. My name is Nada… and I’m a free-stuff-aholic.