Don’t Piss Off the Russian

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Here at Floyd County Prison, there’s a man we all discuss, Big dude sittin’ quiet, like he’s spyin’ on all of us. He leans in when you’re talkin’, nods slow like he understands… But then he mutters something Russian, and you rethink all your plans. [Russian line]: “Я просто слушаю… всё слышу.” (“I’m just listening… I hear everything.”) [Chorus] Ohhh the Russian’s in the dayroom, starin’ like he’s readin’ your soul, Might shake your hand real gentle… or suplex you into a light pole. He says, “You treat me with respect, I treat you with respect,” real soft… And brother, you better take that serious — You don’t wanna piss the Russian off. [Verse 2] They say he’s UFC certified, but nobody’s seen the proof, Some swear he fought a wolf pack, others say he fell from a roof. He’s polite as Sunday morning, but built like a diesel truck, And when he whispers Russian curses? Everybody shuts the hell up. [Russian line]: “Не делай глупостей, брат… плохо кончится.” (“Don’t do something stupid, brother… it ends badly.”) [Pre‑Chorus] He’ll smile like he’s harmless, like he’s just here killin’ time… But that accent hits your spine like a warning from the divine. [Chorus] Yeah the Russian’s in the chow hall, stirrin’ oatmeal like a boss, Talkin’ ‘bout “peace and honor”… while lookin’ like he wrestles moose for sport. He says, “Respect me, I respect you,” in that accent thick and soft… And trust me, brother, write it down — You don’t wanna piss the Russian off. [Bridge] He once said “Good morning” to an inmate… That man started prayin’ for no reason. He said “Have a nice day” to another guy… That man requested transfer mid-season. Then he said: “Спокойно… я добрый человек.” (“Relax… I am a kind man.”) And somehow that made it worse. [Final Chorus] Now the Russian’s in the rec yard, doin’ pushups in the frost, Lookin’ like he’s training for a rematch with a grizzly he once lost. He’s the nicest dude you’ll ever meet… polite, calm, never cross — But Lord have mercy, heed the warning — You don’t wanna piss the Russian off. [Tag] He smiles… He nods… He whispers in Russian… And that’s exactly why we’re scared