Backseat Sunrise

Lyrics

[Intro] I kept the old key on a ring by the door Not for going back, just to know what it was for [Verse 1] I learned patience from the bus stop in the rain Counting cracked tiles, trying not to count the pain Mama said, “Keep your name when the room gets cold” So I wrote mine down where the lost get told Bills on the counter, red ink on the page Young heart carrying an old man’s age Friends took turns disappearing from the block I kept one hand open, one hand on the lock I had a little faith folded under my sleeve Too small for a sermon, just enough to believe Every hard morning left a mark in the dust But the road kept moving, so I learned how to trust [Pre-Chorus] If I bend, I won’t break If I lose, I can wake There’s a spark underneath Still a pulse in the street [Chorus] I’m not alright, but I’m still here Walking through the weight, making room for a year Let the low days pass, let the cold wind run I’ve got a little light and I’m not done [Verse 2] I saw doubt in the mirror wearing my face Tried to outrun it, found it waiting in place So I sat with the silence till it loosened its grip Found a song in the fracture, found a way through the split Granddad’s watch stopped at a quarter to five Still ticked in my pocket like a reason to strive I don’t need every answer carved into stone Just a clear enough road to carry me home Some nights feel longer than the county line But the moon keeps showing up, so I take that sign I’ve been low, I’ve been lost, I’ve been late to the start Still got both feet planted and a stubborn heart [Pre-Chorus] If I bend, I won’t break If I lose, I can wake There’s a spark underneath Still a pulse in the street [Chorus] I’m not alright, but I’m still here Walking through the weight, making room for a year Let the low days pass, let the cold wind run I’ve got a little light and I’m not done [Bridge] Tell the ones I love I’m learning how to stay Tell the younger me he can put the fear away No grand parade, no perfect view Just one more step, then another one too [Verse 3] Now the same old hallway wears a different shade I can see the work inside the choices I made There’s a note on the fridge in my sister’s handwriting: “Come by when you’re ready, we’ll leave the porch light shining” I don’t call it victory, I call it breath A little less running, a little less regret The past still knocks, but I don’t let it steer I answer with a future I can finally hear [Final Chorus] I’m not alright, but I’m still here Walking through the weight, making room for a year Let the low days pass, let the cold wind run I’ve got a little light and I’m not done I’m not alright, but I’m still here Turning every hard mile into something sincere When the dark comes back, I’ll meet it as one With a little more light, and I’m not done [Outro] The key is still there by the door I know what it was for Not to return to the past Just to remember I got past it