Cardboard Queen Bounce

Lyrics

KENDY — THE CARDBOARD QUEEN” WACK RATS! Tonight we’re honoring somebody special… She’s got the balance of a newborn deer, the fishing skills of a parking cone, and one enemy she just can’t defeat… CARDBOARD! This one’s for KENDY! Kendy walks in and the whole room knows, One little wet spot and down she goes! Tile, dirt, gravel, mud or sand, She’ll find a way to hit the land. She’s got long mosquito-bite tits and a heart of gold, But keeping her upright is getting pretty old. Give her a flat surface, she’ll still find a way, To slip, trip, stumble and slide away! KENDY! KENDY! Can’t stay on her feet! Put her near some cardboard and she’s facing defeat! KENDY! KENDY! Fishing rod in her hand, Throws that line in the water— Nothing ever lands! She says, “Watch me fish, I know what I’m doing,” Five minutes later and the fish are still cruising. Cast goes left, bobber goes right, Kendy’s looking at the water like, “Something ain’t right.” But bring out a box made of cardboard and glue, That’s when Kendy’s got a problem to do. One piece on the floor and she’s already down, Cardboard’s the deadliest thing in town! KENDY! KENDY! Queen of the slip! One piece of cardboard and she takes a trip! KENDY! KENDY! Can’t catch a fish, But she’ll catch the pavement like nobody else can! What’s her weakness? CARDBOARD! What’s her worst enemy? BALANCE! What’s she catching? NOT FISH! What’s she doing? FALLING AGAIN! KENDY! KENDY! Wack Rat royalty! Long Mosquito-bite tits and questionable mobility! She can’t fish, she can’t stand, Put some cardboard nearby and she’s hitting the land! But we love our Kendy, that’s the bottom line… JUST KEEP THE CARDBOARD AT LEAST TEN FEET AWAY! Kendy… The only woman we know who can lose a fight with cardboard and still blame the floor. WACK RATS FOREVER!