BITCH IM CEILINGBOY

Lyrics

[Intro] AY. Turn that fan off. TURN THAT FUCKIN FAN OFF. You know what happened last time. Yeah. Ceiling Boy. Motherfucker. [Hook] I GOT BORN IN THE CEILING BORN IN THE CEILING MAMA LOOK UP, THAT’S YOUR BABY ON THE CEILING BORN IN THE CEILING BORN IN THE CEILING DON’T ASK HOW, BITCH, HANDLE THAT FEELING Ceiling Boy! Ceiling Boy! Whole damn county know Ceiling Boy! Ceiling Boy! Ceiling Boy! I sleep downstairs but I’m Ceiling Boy! [Verse 1] Mama went labor at the Golden Corral Water broke right by the chocolate fountain Ambulance late, cousin Dale had a van Hit a pothole hard and I left that woman DOCTOR SAID “WHERE THE BABY?” LOOK UP. I was in acoustic tile above room four Little bloody foot hanging through the ceiling board Nurse climbed ladder, I pissed in her eye First thing I ever did was disrespect somebody Six pounds nine, insulation on me Hospital bracelet said UNKNOWN BABY Mama named Curtis, town said nah By kindergarten everybody called me Drywall BITCH I’M CEILING BOY. I don’t fuck with floors, they know what they did Teacher said sit down, I climbed on the fridge Got expelled twice for accessing the ducts Principal found me above him eating Pizza Hut He said, “Curtis, come down.” NO. I CAN HEAR Y’ALL BETTER FROM HERE. [Hook] I GOT BORN IN THE CEILING BORN IN THE CEILING MAMA LOOK UP, THAT’S YOUR BABY ON THE CEILING BORN IN THE CEILING BORN IN THE CEILING DON’T ASK HOW, BITCH, HANDLE THAT FEELING Ceiling Boy! Ceiling Boy! Whole damn county know Ceiling Boy! Ceiling Boy! Ceiling Boy! I sleep downstairs but I’m Ceiling Boy! [Verse 2] I got seventeen stitches from a Hampton Inn Tried to crawl room 203 to my girlfriend Dropped through drywall on a family of five Dad started screaming, I said EVERYBODY QUIET I’M PASSING THROUGH. Little boy crying with a waffle in hand I said quit being scared, you’ll become a man Girlfriend opened the door like “Curtis, what the fuck?” I had insulation beard and my whole ass stuck Fire department came with the yellow machine Same dude rescued me in 2016 He said “Not you again.” YES ME AGAIN. Put some respect on recurring events. I got fiberglass permanently under my skin When I sweat real hard, little sparkles come in Girl lick my shoulder, tongue itch three days Still came back Friday. THAT’S CEILING GAME. Landlord got photographs stapled in court Judge said “Sir, why were you above the porch?” I said I heard something moving up there. Judge said “What?” ME. [Pre-Hook] I KNOW EVERY ATTIC IN A SIX-MILE RADIUS I KNOW WHICH ONES HOT I KNOW WHICH ONES GOT WASPS I KNOW WHERE YOUR CHRISTMAS SHIT IS DON’T PLAY WITH ME. [Hook] I GOT BORN IN THE CEILING BORN IN THE CEILING MAMA LOOK UP, THAT’S YOUR BABY ON THE CEILING BORN IN THE CEILING BORN IN THE CEILING DON’T ASK HOW, BITCH, HANDLE THAT FEELING Ceiling Boy! Ceiling Boy! Whole damn county know Ceiling Boy! Ceiling Boy! Ceiling Boy! I sleep downstairs but I’m Ceiling Boy! [Verse 3] Bitch, I got attic knees, crawlspace elbows Three flashlights, none of them work though Home Depot banned me aisle twenty-three Caught me testing load-bearing capacity I said THIS ONE GOOD. Employee said get down. I said YOU GET UP. I met my baby mama installing DirecTV She saw two eyes looking through the HVAC grille Said “Who the fuck is that?” CEILING BOY, BITCH. We made our son regular. Far as we can tell. Pediatrician said his growth look fine I said check above you just one more time Baby looked up and started laughing at the vent I slapped twenty dollars on the table and left HE KNOW. HE FUCKIN KNOW. Got a tattoo on my chest: NO DROP TILE Because drop tile weak and I’m heavy now Two hundred eighteen pounds plus chain I entered a dentist office through the return-air main Hygienist fainted, dentist knew my name Said “Curtis, appointments use the front entrance.” THAT’S YOUR SYSTEM. I GOT MINE. Pulled my own wisdom tooth up in an attic Dropped it through a vent at my sister’s wedding Hit Uncle Ron directly in his soup He looked at the tooth. I looked through the duct. We both knew. [Breakdown] CEILING CHECK! Kitchen — clear. Bathroom — clear. Garage — clear. Grandma house — GRANDMA GOT MOLD. GET HER OUTTA THERE. CEILING CHECK! Motel — clear. Walmart — complicated. Church — DON’T MAKE ME TALK ABOUT CHURCH. [Verse 4] Pastor caught me over the baptism tank Said “Son, the Lord wants your feet on the ground” I said show me where. SHOW ME IN THE BOOK. Congregation froze, organ still playing Dust coming down while I’m up there swaying Old Miss Barbara started speaking in tongues I said that ain’t God, there’s a squirrel by the drums I caught that bitch barehanded. Put him outside. Service continued. THAT’S LEADERSHIP. I got roofing nails in a Crown Royal sack Emergency granola taped to my back Half-inch wrench and a photograph of Mom Because sometimes attics take longer than planned You ever spend Thanksgiving above your own family Listening to ’em