Home Inside My Goodbye

Lyrics

[Intro] I kept your number under a name I never use Like hiding one small fire in a house I thought I knew [Verse 1] Bus pass folded in the pocket of my coat Two missed calls from Mom, I let them sit and float Your blue hoodie still hangs off the kitchen chair I tell myself it’s fabric, but I know why it’s there I took the long way past the laundromat The woman at the counter asked me where you’re at I laughed too fast, said, “Probably doing fine” Then watched the dryer turn in circles for a sign [Pre-Chorus] I don’t need saving, I need one honest minute Tell me if you left because you meant it [Chorus] You said, “Don’t make a home inside my goodbye” But I built four walls from the last thing you typed Now every room has a version of your voice And I hate that missing you still feels like a choice If I call, will you answer, or let it ring? I’m tired of carrying everything [Verse 2] New shoes by the doorway, never made it outside I’ve been wearing the same black jeans five nights My friends make plans, I give them almost-truths “Work’s been heavy”—that’s the easiest excuse I found your receipt in a paperback book Coffee, two sandwiches, the year we first got stuck At that little table with the broken leg You drew a crooked heart beside my name in pen [Pre-Chorus] I don’t need saving, I need one honest minute Tell me if you left because you meant it [Chorus] You said, “Don’t make a home inside my goodbye” But I built four walls from the last thing you typed Now every room has a version of your voice And I hate that missing you still feels like a choice If I call, will you answer, or let it ring? I’m tired of carrying everything [Bridge] Maybe I’m not broken, maybe I’m awake Maybe some things leave because they have to break I’ll put your hoodie in a box tonight Not as a promise—just to make some space in my life [Final Chorus] You said, “Don’t make a home inside my goodbye” So I’m taking down the picture from the wall tonight There’s still a room, but it belongs to me And the air feels strange, but at least I can breathe If I call, will you answer? Maybe not I’m learning how to loosen what I thought I’d lost [Outro] The dryer stopped turning The kitchen chair is clear I still hear your voice sometimes But it doesn’t live here